2011.03.02 A date at the cemetery

By DAVID GREEN

I am a man in waiting. I’m waiting for my wife to wake up and drive me to the cemetery.

Sounds like an odd way to spend a Sunday morning, but that’s where my life is…waiting to go to the cemetery.

I drove out there this morning with camera and tripod looking for a photo. It’s quite unsettling to have nothing in mind for the front page of the paper on a Sunday.

I didn’t really expect to find a picture there this morning, but I was curious to see the storm damage at Riverside Park. I didn’t really expect to get stuck in the snow, either, but I did.

It’s not the snow as much as the ice underneath. I finally gave up trying to back the car up a little icy rise and walked home to get the other car, a shovel and some ashes.

I had the entire walk home to think about what I was going to do. I thought about placing strips of cardboard under the tires, but I could see them just zipping under and out the other side of the tire. 

I needed ashes, I decided, and I knew there were some in the Observer basement left over from the days of coal. But it’s a long walk home from the cemetery and I eventually realized there are ashes in the basement of our house.

We’ve owned this house for more than 25 years and we’ve never thrown away the ashes from a previous owner’s wood-burning stove. It’s only a five-gallon pail of them and I must have known they would come in handy some day.

It worked. I had the car free of the ice almost instantly. I want to testify on behalf of all of you oddballs who don’t throw stuff away because you might use it later.

So I’m waiting to go back to the cemetery. I could walk again, but I have a column to write and the clock keeps moving. 

I visited a website that often gives me weak ideas for a column, but weak becomes strong in moments of desperation.

I read an article about a woman whose name became associated with pornographic websites because of an e-mail exchange she had with a friend. Her article is about protecting your on-line reputation.

It moved me to do that thing that everyone does now and then: Visit Mr. Google and ask about your name.

I’m pleased that I’m contained within only three pages. I wouldn’t want this to go on and on. It’s not all about me, anyway. Googling “David Green” Morenci lets me know there’s a man in Morenci, Ariz., with the same name. He’s president of the Lions Club and runs the Western Auto store.

My very first reference is from “The Erie Hiker,” an excellent website by Mike Ingels. Then come three references from another great website, Doug Donnelly’s “Welcome to the TCC.”

Next there are a few hits from the Observer’s website followed by two references to a letter to the editor that I wrote to the Tecumseh Herald a year ago. Clinton was going through the Redskin school mascot debate. I wrote that I now think of the Redskins as a bowl of potatoes and it doesn’t bother me to write about them. A response to my letter refers to me as a pantywaist.

The next hit is from the Adrian College website because they reprinted a portion of the story I wrote about Dr. Robert Husband and his study of mites. That’s one of my all-time favorite stories.

There’s more of the same until the YouTube and Flickr references start arriving. Here’s one I didn’t know existed: AmericanTowns.com lists videos associated with an area and there’s one of mine that was tagged with Fayette.

Ha! There’s a funny one. The Kentucky Press Association reprinted a little essay I wrote about why newspapers should avoid taking check-passing photos.

Here’s the screwiest one: “Find Hot People in Morenci.” I have a 6.2 hot rating, just ahead of Jay Gould at 6.1. The website says “Hot Scores in Morenci MI Based on Proximity to Toxic Waste Sites.” I’m a little more toxic than Jay.

I occasionally appear under the heading Janitorial Services because I list “writer, janitor” on my Twitter account.

I don’t see anything embarrassing associated with my name and my wife is now up. We’ve got a date at the cemetery.

  • Front.web
    NICE WORK—A spider remains at the center of a web, awaiting visitors, during a moist morning last month. The was built in front of Eagle Funeral Home in Morenci.
  • Front.bridge Cross
    STEP BY STEP—Wyatt Stevens of Morenci makes his way across a rope bridge Sunday during the Michigan DNR’s Great Outdoors Jamboree at Lake Hudson Recreation Area. The Tecumseh Boy Scout Troop constructed the bridge again this year after taking a break in 2016. The Jamboree offered a variety of activities for a wide range of age groups. Morenci’s Stair District Library set up activities again this year and had visits with dozens of kids. See the back page for additional photos.
  • Front.bridge.17
    LEADING THE WAY—The Morenci Area High School marching band led the way across the pedestrian bridge on Morenci’s south side for the annual Labor Day Bridge Walk. The Band Boosters shared profits from the sale of T-shirts with the walk’s sponsor, the Morenci Area Chamber of Commerce. Additional photos are on the back page.
  • Front.eclipse
    LOOKING UP—More than 200 people showed up at Stair District Library Monday afternoon to view the big celestial event with free glasses provided by a grant from the Space Science Institute. The library offered craft activities from noon to 1 p.m., refreshments including Cosmic Cake from Zingerman’s Bakehouse and a live viewing of the eclipse from NASA on a large screen. As the sky darkened slightly, more and more people moved outside to the sidewalk to take a look at the shrinking sun. If you missed it, hang on for the next total eclipse in 2024 as the path comes even closer to this area.
  • Cecil
    THE MAYOR—Cecil Schoonover poses with a collection of garden gnomes that mysteriously arrive and disappear from his property. Along with the gnomes, someone created the sign stating that he is the Mayor of Gnomesville. He hasn’t yet tracked down the people involved in the prank, but he’s having a good time with the mystery.
  • Front.rest
    TAKE A BREAK—Last Wednesday’s session of Stair District Library’s Summer Reading Program ended with a quiet period in a class presented by yoga instructor Melany Gladieux of Toledo. Children learned a variety of yoga poses in the main room at the library, then finished off the session relaxing. Additional photos are on page 7. Area children are invited to visit the library today when the Michigan Science Center presents a flight program at 11 a.m. and roller coasters at 1 p.m.
  • Front.batter
    THE DERBY—Tyler “Smallpox” Flakne of Minnesota’s Home Run League All-Stars goes for the fence Friday night during the National Wiffle League Association’s home run derby in Morenci. This year the wiffleball national tournament moved from Dublin, Ohio, to Morenci’s Wakefield Park. During the derby, competitors had two minutes to hit as many home runs as possible. The winner this year finished with 21. See page 6 and 7 for additional photos.
  • Front.green Screen
    OUT OF THIS WORLD—Elizabeth McFadden and Elise Christle pose in front of the green screen as VolunTeen Noah Gilson makes them appear as though they are standing on the Moon. More photos from the Stair District Library’s NASA @ My Library program are on page 12.
  • Front.fireworks
    FIREWORKS erupt Saturday night over Morenci’s Wakefield Park during the waning hours of the Town and Country Festival. Additional festival photos are inside.