Columns

2013.06.12 Reptile president worse than an invisible mob?

on . Posted in Nowhere Road

By RICH FOLEY

Back in the 1960s, there used to be a syndicated television series named “One Step Beyond.” It was pretty similar to “The Twilight Zone,” the popularity of which I’m sure One Step Beyond was trying to cash in on. I still remember one episode in particular nearly 50 years later.

The show in question involved an “invisible mob.” I don’t remember all the  background details, but the mob would show up without warning (after all, they were invisible) and trample unsuspecting victims. You could hear voices as the mob did its work and see the victims dying, but the mob would continue on its invisible way, unseen, to its next attack.

For weeks afterward, maybe even longer, I was hesitant to go into our basement alone, figuring the invisible mob might be waiting for me. If Rod Serling was in the basement, I’d know to look out for some Twilight Zone danger, but there were no warning signs if an invisible mob was down there.

I was reminded of the mob by a pair of television shows currently showing on Saturday nights just after midnight. One, called “Unsealed: Alien Files,” tries to scare you half to death with supposedly true stories about aliens from government files. The other, “Unsealed: Conspiracy Files,” does much the same thing with stories of all types of conspiracies, with an alien or two thrown into the mix. A suspicious person would mistrust almost everybody and everything after watching a few episodes.

For instance, last week’s conspiracy episode presented “proof” that George Washington was murdered by an impostor. This person was said to have killed Washington during his first term, took over the presidency and successfully won re-election, all with no one being the wiser. Didn’t Martha Washington notice anything?

 The episode even showed paintings of Washington and his “assassin” as younger men, then later portraits of “President Washington,” in which the younger impostor looked more like an older Washington than Washington himself. Even the “Washington” on the one dollar bill looks more like the younger impostor than the younger Washington.

There was also a show about human cloning which claimed that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is not the son of former leader Kim Jong Il, but rather his clone, made for Il in an attempt to rule North Korea forever. If that’s true, can we be sure the real Dennis Rodman returned from North Korea, or is he now a clone, too?

The alien shows are usually even stranger, if that’s possible. For example, one show claimed that shortly after our first moon landing, aliens already living there ordered astronauts Armstrong and Aldrin to leave and never return. Convinced that we couldn’t do that without the world wondering why we cancelled the rest of the Apollo missions, the aliens agreed that we should finish the planned Apollo flights, then stop any further moon missions.

But the moon wasn’t the only place extra terrestrials hung out. Supposed “official NASA photos” showed pyramids and a sphinx just like those in Egypt on the surface of Mars. The show presented this as proof that aliens visited Earth long ago and left out own pyramids and other Egyptian treasures as souvenirs.

Another episode claims that aliens met with President Eisenhower at a remote  Air Force base in the southwest sometime in the late 1950’s. The aliens provided the government with technology that greatly advanced our progress in developing computers, aircraft and the space program.

The aliens only asked one thing in return. President Eisenhower supposedly agreed to let them abduct “reasonable” numbers of humans and animals for experimental purposes. He even cooperated in letting them build a facility on government property to do their experimenting. 

And maybe the scariest claim of all is that there are many aliens among us, disguised as human beings. To illustrate that statement. we are shown film of former President George H. W. Bush with what appears to be a green, forked tongue darting out of his mouth.

Yes, they want us to believe our 41st president was some sort of alien reptile. How gullible do they think we are? Next, they’ll be trying to convince us that vice president Dan Quayle not only couldn’t spell potato, in reality he was, in fact, an actual alien potato. It could be true-if they said so on late night television.

Weekly newspaper serving SE Michigan and NW Ohio - State Line Observer ©2006-2014