Columns

My Wi-Fi trail of crumbs 2015.09.02

on . Posted in By The Way

By DAVID GREEN

I've mentioned in the past that I'm only half-way into the modern communication era. I have a very intelligent phone that I bought used from a company called Glyde.

Its past was wiped away before it was sent to me, of course, but still I sometimes wonder about the previous owner. Male or female? Where in the country did the phone live? Did the owner appreciate it? It's probably four years old (hopelessly outdated) but still serving me well. Why did that previous owner feel such a need to upgrade so quickly?

I presume the previous owner bought the phone to use as a phone. Not me. I really don't like to talk into a cellphone. I often don't enjoy talking to someone who is using a cellphone. If they're driving they often fade in and out. There's someone I call occasionally—maybe a coach—who has to stand in a particular room of his house in order to clearly converse. I know some people have to step outside. 

I pay for my cellphone usage through a great company called Ting. They have a sense of humor, they're very helpful and it's cheap, depending on how you use your phone.

There's a big catch to Ting if you live in Morenci. The company uses Sprint and that's fine if you live out near the church on Sims Highway. There's a little finger of coverage out there and maybe some on West Main. Otherwise, Sprint service seems to be rather useless here which is OK with me. I don't really want to get phone calls in my pocket. At work it's fine because it rings into my regular phone through Google Voice so I just pick up the old-fashioned phone on my desk.

Essentially, what I have is a Wi-Fi phone unless I'm out of town. As long as I'm connected to a Wi-Fi system, I pass for a regular guy instead of all the weirdness that I've written about so far.

I looked through my phone's list of stored Wi-Fi connections recently and noticed that it presents a history of my life over the last couple of years. If only they could be displayed chronologically instead of alphabetically.

Some of them are rather generic and now mysterious—ATT-WiFi, CableWiFi,Cisco84141—while others tell short stories.

Near the top is BalanceGrille, a very interesting restaurant in Sylvania. Such wonderful flavors in those Asian tacos.

Fayette_Public: Perhaps that's the school, although I can't recall ever making the connection there.

FCHC-Guest: That goes back to when my mother fell down some steps while carrying a pizza box. My parents should request delivery.

GreenTeaBall: My daughter's house in Lexington.

Hang-On Express: I had to consult Ms. Google for that one. It's a Chinese restaurant in Suttons Bay. I have no recollection of the event, but apparently I ate there once while in the north country.

Holiday Inn Perrysburg: That was recent, after Ali Ries's wedding. I did a lot of baby-walking at that place.

Jim White Toyota Guest: Every time the car is serviced there, the Wi-Fi connection is made. If only they would turn off the blaring televisions.

LunchboxLucy: That's the name of a cat owned by my niece who lives near Atlanta. That's the place where we had to break off the doorknob to get back inside the bedroom.

masStudent: I suppose that's Morenci Area Schools. I suppose a loud message alert sounded from my phone once when I was listening to a guest author. Several students turned to see who the rude person was. I had forgotten about the automatic connection.

MSUPress: That must be from MSU's Breslin Center and Morenci basketball.

omcenter: My favorite place for a massage. Many of you remember Leslie Blaker who graduated from Morenci a few years back. She and her colleague, Allison Skeels, own this place in Adrian.

PUBLIX-CUSTOMER: Publix is a supermarket in the south. I think this must be from Miami where Ben lives. A classmate of Lesley.

Red Lion Motor Lodge: This motel is located south of Suttons Bay. We stayed there while attending the wedding of my daughter-in-law's sister. A good time was had by all.

STAIR_Network: Morenci's free Wi-Fi service. It's at the library, of course.

Telegram WiFi-guest: This newspaper is printed at the Telegram in Adrian. There's an unwritten rule that states: "If you finish early, there will be a press problem." This has happened so many times that it's beyond coincidence. That's overstating things, I suppose. The press crew would laugh at the suggestion that I finish early "so many times," but when it happens, I generally end up later than usual while the problem is resolved. I sit in the car using their Wi-Fi.

There were some gaps that are coming back to me the second time through. ACS-Guest: Addison Community Schools. A recent volleyball tournament. FWMofA: Fort Wayne Museum of Art. Colleen never made it past the gift shop; I sat in the coolness on a hot day and checked e-mail.

CampusNEt. TCI Guest. UO Guest. Some of my history is lost to memory, but my out-dated phone and I have done some interesting traveling, hopping from one Wi-Fi stop to another.

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