Columns

2008.07.16 Checking in with the 49th state

on . Posted in By The Way

By DAVID GREEN

I used to write occasionally about the oddities of life in Alaska—back in the good old days when I received three or four Alaska papers in the mail.

I started trading newspapers back in the 1990s when we visited my wife’s brother, Kevin, in Anchorage. It lasted for several years, but someone must have wondered why they kept mailing these free papers to Michigan every week. I was cut off.

When Kevin came for the recent wedding, he brought an issue of the Anchorage Daily News for me to catch up on events.

Gasoline prices continue to be higher in Alaska than anywhere else in the nation. The July 2 report noted the average was $4.64 a gallon.

A Black Hawk helicopter crew from Ft. Wainwright rescues an average of one person a week out in Alaska’s wilds, but that will soon end when the crew heads to Afghanistan.

In Wasilla, the city council voted 4-1 to ask the mayor to resign over business dealings with a frontage road and new shopping centers.

“What I have done is denied myself the opportunity to have the best bacon-cheeseburger in Alaska,” Dianne Keller said.

Dr. Leland Jones will remove “lumps, bumps and warts.”

What’s that? You want me to back up and give an explanation for the cheeseburger comment? The Wasilla mayor hasn’t been able to visit the Windbreak Café since November because of the nasty things being said about her.

A backpacker with a fractured foot was rescued 40 miles north of Ambler. A body was found in the Yukon River.

The International Conference on Permafrost was underway. About 80 percent of Alaska stays frozen, but that amount is getting smaller. As the melt continues, damage to roads, buildings and other infrastructure is expected to cost billions of dollars.

The average age of the seven people listed in the obituaries is 52. The average age of Anchorage’s five homicide victims from 2008 is 33.

John Calvert was fishing far out into the Cook Inlet when he ate a halibut eyeball. His fishing companions had just landed the 11th halibut of the trip and one of its eyeballs was knocked out in the landing and lay on the deck.

A deckhand told Calvert it was good luck to eat an eyeball so he swallowed it whole.

An hour later he caught a 279-pound monster halibut. As of July 2, that fish led the derby in Homer.

They play baseball in Alaska. The league features the Alaska Goldpanners (Fairbanks), the Anchorage Bucs, the Anchorage Glacier Pilots, the Mat-Su Miners (Palmer), the North Pole Nicks, the Peninsula Oilers (Kenai) and the Athletes in Action Fire. But if you’re a true fan of the big leagues, you already know that dozens of Alaska Baseball League players have made it into the majors.

There’s a park on the east side of Anchorage where at least 20 grizzly bears visit for salmon fishing. A teen-ager was mauled there recently while competing in an all-night mountain bike race.

Kevin also brought a copy of the Anchorage Press, a free entertainment weekly that includes columns by James “Dr. Fermento” Roberts. He wrote a touching tribute called “Last Beer with Mom.”

“I’m a tough case,” he wrote, “because I evaluate everyone through beer goggles. Beer goggles, like mothers-in-law, get a bad rap.”

His mother-in-law died recently and he talked about the importance of beer in her life. She didn’t drink a lot; beer was just a tool to quench her thirst and she liked the taste.

He writes about her final weeks (“She’d been circling the drain for quite some time, both physically and mentally...”) and he remembers their final beer together.

The good doctor went south to Denver to bury Mom and recall their shared moments in beer. She left a few bottles behind for him in her refrigerator.

Now he’s back at work, suggesting stops at Wasilla’s Great Bear Brewing Company, the Silver Gulch Brewing Company in Fox, Homer’s Ring of Fire Meadery, etc., for his ultimate Alaska beer break.

I enjoyed the brief reconnection with the 49th state through two newspapers. It’s Alaska residents like Dr. Fermento that remind me of the unique character of those people to the north.

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