2002.09.18 Look out, Hollywood (or downtown Morenci)

Written by David Green.

BY Rich Foley

I suppose I’m not the only one who gets tired of the same old spam showing up on my email. After all, how many credit cards can one person get? How many international drivers licenses does one person need? How many different naked pictures of Britney Spears could possibly exist?

That’s why I was curious when I recently got a message with the subject line of “Casting Call for Reality TV’s Fastest New Show!” At least curious enough to open the email, which I seldom do with spam.

It turns out some big Hollywood studio I never heard of is casting “the Hot new Reality TV show RALLY RACER with a diverse cast of characters. We are looking for you to possibly fill the role of a RACECAR DRIVER!”

OK, I wouldn’t really be a race car driver, I’d just play one on TV. But, I’d be playing one in “…thirteen action-packed episodes featuring sixteen everyday people as they are catapulted into the adrenaline-filled world of professional RallyGP racing where camaraderie, conflict and competition create the most dramatic experience of today’s reality television viewing.”

Wait a minute, I have to be catapulted?

I’m also told that while on location, I will experience “six weeks of pure adrenaline and excitement.” There’s the word “adrenaline” again. I’m starting to get excited just thinking about it.

Then there’s the three-week contestant “Boot Camp,” three weeks in which “every minute of your day is structured and designed to turn you into a well-oiled driving and racing machine.” Well-oiled? With what?

Of course, the best part is that I will “experience the life of a professional race car driver even down to the catered meals, massages, personal trainers and superstar treatment.” Yeah, I think I might be able to get used to that.

There are a few details here that concern me, however. For example, they’re not very clear on when the show will actually air, or on what network, if any.

They don’t want to tell where the series will be shot either, only that the location will be “hot and dusty.” That makes me think that downtown Morenci is a possibility for the location.

Then, there’s the task of filling out the online “casting application.” They want to know, among other information, my hair length, skin tone and favorite musician, book, food and drink.

I’m also supposed to describe my lifestyle, capability of running and jogging, hand/eye coordination and smoking and drinking habits.

A warning states that “anyone found to have misinformed the casting officials will be removed from the show.” Of course, if they are really looking for a “diverse cast of characters,” then telling the truth might give a person a better chance of being selected than everyone submitting answers they think the casting people are looking for.

Then there’s the matter of the casting application fee. That’s where this starts to look like all the other spam I receive. To “process” my e-casting application, I must pay a fee of $11.95, payable by credit card, or an online check for $14.95. The fee can only be paid online and is nonrefundable.

It’s explained that the fee “helps with the cost of creating, managing and processing the vast number of applicants.” Of course, the more applicants, the more fees they collect, but they word it so it sounds like a bad thing.

Only a cynic would think the show is just an excuse to collect a few million application fees from wannabe television stars. OK, so call me a cynic.

I decided for sure to forego this opportunity when I stumbled across a paragraph that, despite their secrecy, identified the show as taking place in the Sahara.

After all, if I were going to drive overseas, I’d need one of those international drivers licenses and that’s just one spam scam too many.

    – Sept. 18, 2002 
  • Front.splash
    Water Fun—Carter Seitz and Colson Walter take a fast trip along a plastic sliding strip while water from a sprinkler provides the lubrication. The boys took a break from tie-dyeing last week at Morenci’s Summer Recreation Program to cool off in the water.
  • Front.starting
    BIKE-A-THON—Children in Morenci’s Summer Recreation Program brought their bikes last Tuesday to participate in a bike-a-thon. Riders await the start of the event at the elementary school before being led on a course through town by organizer Leonie Leahy.
  • Front.pokemon
    LATEST CRAZE—David Cortes (left) and Ty Kruse, along with Jerred Heselschwerdt (standing), consult their smartphones while engaging in the game of Pokémon Go. The virtual scavenger hunt comes to life when players are in the vicinity of gyms, such as Stair District Library, and PokéStops such as the fire station across the street. The boys had spent time Monday morning searching for Pokémon at Wakefield Park.
  • Front.drum
    on your mark, get set, drum!—Drew Joughin (black shirt), Maddox Joughin and Kaleea Braun took the front row last week when Angela Rettle and assistants led the Stair District Library Summer Reading Program kids in a session of cardio drumming. The sports and healthy living theme continued yesterday with a Mini Jamboree at Lake Hudson State Park arranged by the Michigan Department of Natural Resources. Next week’s program features the Flying Aces Frisbee show.
  • Girls.on.ride
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  • Front.softball
    Angela Davis (2) and teammate Allison VanBrandt break into a jig after Morenci's softball team won its third consecutive regional title.
  • Front.art.park
    ART PARK—A design created by Poggemeyer Design Group shows a “pocket art park” in the green space south of the State Line Observer building. The proposal includes a 12-foot sculpture based on a design created by Morenci sixth grade student Klara Wesley through a school and library collaboration. A wooden band shell is located at the back of the lot. The Observer wall would be covered with a synthetic stucco material. City council members are considering ways to fund the estimated $125,000 project and perhaps tackling construction one step at a time.
  • Front.train
    WRECKAGE—Morenci Fire Department member Taylor Schisler walks past the smoking wreckage of a semi-truck tractor on the north side of the Norfolk and Southern Railroad tracks on Ranger Highway. The truck trailer was on the south side of the tracks
  • Funcolor
    LEONIE LEAHY was one of three local hair stylists who volunteered time Friday at the Morenci PTO Fun Night. Her customer, Aubrey Sandusky, looks up at her mother while her hair takes on a perfect match to her outfit. Leahy said she had a great time at the event—nothing but happy clients.
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