The Weekly Newspaper serving the citizens of Morenci, Mich., Fayette, Ohio, and surrounding areas.

  • KayseInField
    IN THE FIELD—2004 Morenci graduate Kayse Onweller works in a test plot of wheat in Texas. She’s part of Bayer CropScience’s North American wheat breeding program based in Nebraska, where she completed post-graduate work in plant breeding and genetics.
  • Front.winner
    REFEREE Camden Miller raises the hand of Morenci Jr. Dawgs wrestler Ryder Ryan as his opponent leaves the mat in disappointment. Morenci’s youth wrestling program served as host for a tournament Saturday morning to raise money for the club. Additional photos are on the back page.
  • Front.bank.2
    SHERWOOD STATE Bank opened its Fayette office at a grand opening Friday morning, drawing a large crowd to view the renovated building. Above, Burt Blue talks to teller Cindy Funk, while his wife, Jackie, looks around the new office. The Blues missed the opening and took a quick tour on Tuesday. Few traces remain of the former grocery store and theater, however, part of the original brick wall still shows in the hallway leading to the back of the building. The drive-through window should be ready for customers later in the month.
  • Front.carry.casket
    CARRYING—Riley Terry (blue jacket) and Mason Vaughn lead the way, carrying an empty casket outside to the hearse waiting at the curb. Morenci juniors and seniors visited Eagle Funeral Home last week to learn about the role of a funeral director and to understand the process of arranging for a funeral.
  • Front.lift
    MORENCI student Dalton McCowan puts everything into a dead lift attempt Saturday morning during the Wyseguy Push/Pull event. Lifters helped raise more than $1,600 for the family of the late Devin Wyse, a former Morenci power-lifter who graduated last year. Commemorative T-shirts are still available by contacting teacher Dan Hoffman.
  • Front.make.three
    FROM THE LEFT, Landon Wilkins, Ryan White and Logan Blaker try out their artistic skills Saturday afternoon at the Morenci PTO’s first Date to Create event. More than 50 people showed up to create decorated planks of wood to hang from rope. The event served as a fund-raiser for miscellaneous PTO projects. Additional photos are on the back of this week’s Observer.
  • Front.F.office
    NEW OFFICES—Fayette village administrator Steve Blue speaks with tax administrator Genna Biddix at the new front desk of the village office. Village council members voted to use budgeted renovation funds targeted for the old office and instead buy the vacant bank building on the corner of Main and Fayette streets. The old office was sold to Sherwood State Bank. When everything is put into place in the spacious new village office, an open house will be scheduled. Council member David Wheeler donated all of his time needed to make changes in the bank interior to fit the Village’s needs.

2012.09.05 Vermin in the White House?

Written by David Green.

By RICH FOLEY

Just think—it’s still two months until the presidential election. Haven’t those insufferable television commercials been going on for years?

No matter which major candidate you  prefer, you have to be tired of seeing his face in about every third commercial. In his own commercials, he’s featured as our nation’s savior; in his opponent’s spots, he’s the spawn of Satan.

 Too bad each can’t be required to purchase some commercial time for a  rival whose ads we might actually look forward to seeing. I’m thinking about little known candidate Vermin Love Supreme.

Supreme, who can be recognized by his habit of wearing a winter boot as a hat and carrying a giant toothbrush, has been running for various offices for years, including mayor of Detroit, even though he was a resident of Baltimore. He first  ran for president in 2004.

That year, he entered the Washington, DC, presidential primary and received 149 votes. In 2008, he entered the New Hampshire Republican primary, getting 41 votes (0.02%). In the general election, he received 43 votes nationally, according to the Federal Election Commission.

In 2012, Supreme became a Democrat  and has seen his voting totals skyrocket. In the New Hampshire  primary, Supreme garnered 833 votes, just over 48,000 behind the president. His percentage of the vote took a quantum leap to 1.37%.

Supreme seems to have gained traction with Democrats, maybe because of that toothbrush. It represents Supreme’s pledge to make toothbrushing mandatory if he is elected. It makes sense he would join the party that favors mandatory health insurance.

Some of his other issues, however, tend to be way out there. Take, for instance, his pledge to provide a pony for every American. Why? Are Americans begging for ponies? Supreme explained his reasoning to the Washington Post:

“Once every American has a pony, then I can—by fiat, executive order or something like that—dismantle the federal government with a snap of my magic fingers.” Wouldn’t you love to see this guy in a debate with Obama and Romney?

Then there’s his idea to provide federal funding of time travel research. Once it’s perfected, President Supreme’s goal is to go back in time and “kill Hitler with my bare hands.”

Supreme’s wildest ideas circle around his belief that there will be a zombie invasion which the government needs to prepare for. After our ultimate victory over the invaders, they will be put on zombie treadmills to help create clean, renewable energy.

In case you were wondering, yes, Supreme is married. When the Post asked Mrs. Supreme why she would make a good First Lady, she replied, “I really want to paint the White House, definitely rainbow...We’ll prepare the White House for the zombie invasion...We’ll definitely have a weather dome.” She also said that to help move her husband’s mandatory toothbrushing initiative forward, she would hold “flossing circles around the White House.”

You have to admit, she certainly seems to be on board with her husband’s aspirations. They say every politician needs a supportive wife.  And painting the White House? It’s been the same color for 200 years. If we’re going to have a wacky President, we might as well let his wife redecorate.

Supreme went to the Republican National Convention in Tampa last week to spread his message. As he wasn’t a delegate or invited guest, he spoke from outside the security entrance at the convention’s perimeter.

He chose to criticize candidate Mitt Romney. “Is Mitt gonna save you from the zombies?” he asked the crowd. “Because I will!”

I suppose it would be a nice change of pace to see Obama ads stating “Romney—he’s weak on zombies!” But since I haven’t heard any tough talk from the president on the zombie problem, I suspect he, as well as Romney, plan to ignore the issue.

But just think if Supreme had a budget for television advertising. Forget health care or the economy. Zombies would become the hot button issue of the day, along with mandatory toothbrushing and ponies, of course.

With the Democrat National Convention upon us, I suspect Supreme may be making a visit to the Charlotte convention site. He’s unlikely to miss a chance to spread the zombie message.

Maybe he can convince Obama to include him in a candidate debate. I can’t wait to see that giant toothbrush.

Weekly newspaper serving SE Michigan and NW Ohio - State Line Observer ©2006-2016