The Weekly Newspaper serving the citizens of Morenci, Mich., Fayette, Ohio, and surrounding areas.

  • KayseInField
    IN THE FIELD—2004 Morenci graduate Kayse Onweller works in a test plot of wheat in Texas. She’s part of Bayer CropScience’s North American wheat breeding program based in Nebraska, where she completed post-graduate work in plant breeding and genetics.
  • Front.winner
    REFEREE Camden Miller raises the hand of Morenci Jr. Dawgs wrestler Ryder Ryan as his opponent leaves the mat in disappointment. Morenci’s youth wrestling program served as host for a tournament Saturday morning to raise money for the club. Additional photos are on the back page.
  • Front.bank.2
    SHERWOOD STATE Bank opened its Fayette office at a grand opening Friday morning, drawing a large crowd to view the renovated building. Above, Burt Blue talks to teller Cindy Funk, while his wife, Jackie, looks around the new office. The Blues missed the opening and took a quick tour on Tuesday. Few traces remain of the former grocery store and theater, however, part of the original brick wall still shows in the hallway leading to the back of the building. The drive-through window should be ready for customers later in the month.
  • Front.carry.casket
    CARRYING—Riley Terry (blue jacket) and Mason Vaughn lead the way, carrying an empty casket outside to the hearse waiting at the curb. Morenci juniors and seniors visited Eagle Funeral Home last week to learn about the role of a funeral director and to understand the process of arranging for a funeral.
  • Front.lift
    MORENCI student Dalton McCowan puts everything into a dead lift attempt Saturday morning during the Wyseguy Push/Pull event. Lifters helped raise more than $1,600 for the family of the late Devin Wyse, a former Morenci power-lifter who graduated last year. Commemorative T-shirts are still available by contacting teacher Dan Hoffman.
  • Front.make.three
    FROM THE LEFT, Landon Wilkins, Ryan White and Logan Blaker try out their artistic skills Saturday afternoon at the Morenci PTO’s first Date to Create event. More than 50 people showed up to create decorated planks of wood to hang from rope. The event served as a fund-raiser for miscellaneous PTO projects. Additional photos are on the back of this week’s Observer.
  • Front.F.office
    NEW OFFICES—Fayette village administrator Steve Blue speaks with tax administrator Genna Biddix at the new front desk of the village office. Village council members voted to use budgeted renovation funds targeted for the old office and instead buy the vacant bank building on the corner of Main and Fayette streets. The old office was sold to Sherwood State Bank. When everything is put into place in the spacious new village office, an open house will be scheduled. Council member David Wheeler donated all of his time needed to make changes in the bank interior to fit the Village’s needs.

2012.02.22 What do I need to get Jay Leno’s attention?

Written by David Green.

By RICH FOLEY

I’ve always been a bit jealous of writers who get others to do their research for them. Some of you may be familiar with the “News of the Weird” column in which Chuck Shepherd edits and reruns odd news items sent in by readers. No need to leave the office, just wait for the news to roll in.

Back when he wrote a regular column, Dave Barry often thanked an “alert reader” who sent in a strange news item that Barry then used as a column idea. It was a goal of mine to become an alert reader, but at the time, I never came across anything I considered worthy. At least Barry gave his contributors credit by name, unless several sent in the same article.

Now Jay Leno does much the same thing on “The Tonight Show” with his “Headlines” and “Police Blotter” features. I actually sent some contributions in last summer, but none of them made the cut. I thought an ad for toothpaste containing an endorsement from a dentist named “Dr. Fang”  would make it, but no luck. 

A few months later, a “Headlines” segment showing several ads for doctors with odd names had one for another Dr. Fang. Is that a common name for dentists? I felt slightly cheated, but since Leno doesn’t give credit to contributors, no one would know, anyway.

An old ad with a local connection actually made Leno’s feature earlier this year. Several years ago, an advertising insert for Chief Supermarkets which ran in the Observer, along with several other papers, advertised a meat item that was a certain percent “fat free.” Only it didn’t say “fat;” instead it was related intestinal gas. Someone must have taken the ad out of their scrapbook and sent it in.

I’d think Leno would like some of the strange car ads I repeat at times, but for some reason, he never seems to show any. That’s odd, since he’s such a car guy. Instead, I’ve rounded up a few more ads, headlines and contributions for “Police Blotter.” Maybe he’ll like something out of this batch. 

I have an ad from an Adrian store for Del Monte Fruit Cocktail. “Your Choice!,” says the ad. “2/$1 or $1 each.” After some thought, I think I’ll take the 2/$1.

A Mexican restaurant in Defiance recently ran a hard-to-resist coupon: “Spend $50 and receive $1 off entire order!” Really? A whopping 2 per cent off? I hope they were able to handle the crowds.  

Maybe he’d like this headline about a California marijuana initiative: “Pot measure’s immediate effect remains up in air.”

My best chance of making the show might come when Jay does the “Police Blotter” feature. Lenawee County has had some interesting police reports recently. Jay almost has to like one of these. 

In the first one, the Adrian Police Department answered a call at 4 a.m. regarding a man who was said to be “breaking glass and creating a disturbance.” The man told police he was celebrating because “a friend was coming to pick him up in a limousine with Sandra Bullock.” He was arrested for disorderly conduct and released on bond.

At 11:50 a.m., officers returned after complaints the same man was standing in the street “yelling he was going to blow up his house.” I sure hope Ms. Bullock wasn’t inside. This time, he was jailed.

In a report from the Michigan State Police, an Onsted woman was injured when her car left U.S. 223 in Rome Township and overturned several times. That’s never a happy situation, but it’s hard not to laugh at the cause of her losing control. 

The woman told troopers she was eating yogurt at the time of the crash. And no, she wasn’t Jamie Lee Curtis. She did, however, get a citation for careless driving.

Leno, as a fast food fan, ought to appreciate the final item. An Adrian woman, driving south on North Main Street, called the Adrian Police Department after someone in a northbound car threw something at her vehicle.

The object in question, according to the police report, was a McDonald’s  McChicken sandwich. The woman reported that the car fled the scene. The police had no suspects at the time of the report.

No suspects at all? Do we know what Mayor McCheese and Grimace were doing at the time? And how about that Burger King? He always looked pretty suspicious to me.

That’s all I’ve got for now, Jay. Take your pick.

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