2011.09.21 Used cars out there, odd résumés and all

Written by David Green.

By RICH FOLEY

I’m sure you’ve seen the news reports about the rising prices of used vehicles. For several reasons, the supply of good used cars isn’t as big as it used to be, while growing demand for certain types of vehicles has forced prices to higher levels.

In some cases, you might as well buy a new vehicle if you can afford it as the price for a new one often isn’t much more than a pre-owned model. The down side is you’ll miss out on the odd seller claims and backstories that come with some vehicles. If anything, the advertisements I’ve seen lately seem to be getting even stranger.

For instance, people hardly use the cliché about the car being owned by a little old lady who only drove it to church anymore. Instead, I have an ad for a 1979 Lincoln Continental that the previous owner “used for shopping and her Thursday bridge game.”

Or this 1968 Buick convertible: “Mom’s car, she drove to store/golf course until her death in 1993.” I’m not sure if this 1965 Jeep Wagoneer was owned by a man or woman, but I love the explanation for it only showing 65,000 miles: “Used only 5-6 times a year to tow jet skis and Sea-Doos.” Whether it was Grandpa’s or Grandma’s old Jeep, at least they had fun with it.

There is such a thing as making an ad too boring, such as this one for a 1965 Volkswagen Beetle, which was “owned by one family for several years.” That’s it? That’s the best thing you can say about it? And you still want $7,450?

Even worse, though, is making a statement too strange to be true. Like, say, the ad for a 1969 Chevy pickup which claims “Hop in and it will bring you back to Woodstock.” Really? I don’t think a 1969 Chevy pickup would remind me of Woodstock even if there was a Country Joe and the Fish 8-track playing in the stereo.

The supply of vehicles with “celebrity” backgrounds seems to be growing. Is anyone interested is a 1981 Zimmer “owned and driven by Liberace and on display in the Imperial Palace for years”? It even includes “Liberace signatures and memorabilia.” Only $42,900 and it’s yours.

Or if that’s too pricey, but you still want a vehicle with Las Vegas glamour, how about a “1981 Lincoln Limo, previously owned by Wayne Newton”? Only 37,000 miles, immaculate condition, and, compared to Liberace’s car, a reasonable $9,500. Start writing that check.

Not exotic enough for you? Any interest in a 1947 Rolls Royce that is said to have belonged to Yugoslavian King Peter II while he lived in exile in London? Supposedly beautiful, definitely $24,500.

Are you a movie fan? There’s even a good selection of vehicles with Hollywood connections. For instance, a 1975 Cadillac Eldorado that “has been in two movies and a Shredded Wheat commercial” is available for $29,000. Apparently, the movies weren’t good enough to mention by name. Someone else has a 1954 Chevy Bel Air used in “The Brinks Job,” with no price listed. A 1936 Auburn replica driven by Madonna in “Dick Tracy” is available for $79,995.

Want a really odd movie collectable? Someone is selling a 1941 GMC 2 and 1/2 ton 6x6 truck used in “Band of Brothers” for $25,000. It’s big enough for the whole family, as long as they don’t mind riding in the back of an open truck.

On a tight budget? A 1970 Chevy Nova that “was featured in one of Oprah’s movies which aired in 2001” is a mere $5,577. Heck, Oprah probably makes that much in an average hour.

The last one in this group is my favorite. Someone is selling a 1970 Dodge Challenger whose credits include being driven in “The Bucket List” by Jack Nicholson and the television series “NCIS” by Mark Harmon. I never saw the movie, but I see an identical car in the NCIS opening credits every week. What’s more, it’s just $26,500, a good price for a Challenger with no history at all. Out of all these celebrity and movie vehicles, it most deserves consideration.

But the most creative ad I’ve seen lately isn’t any of the aforementioned. It’s for a 1975 Pontiac Trans Am and says, “watch that shaker hood twist from all the torque when you punch the gas and you’ll know this is a fire-breathing piece of American history.” I have to say that whoever came up with that line is wasting their talent just doing car ads. Someone having that much imagination should be writing for the movies. Has there ever been a movie about car ads?

  • Play Practice
    DRAMA—Fayette schools, in conjunction with the Opera House Theater program, will present two plays Friday night at the Fayette Opera House. From the left is Autumn Black, Wyatt Mitchell, Elizabeth Myers, Jonah Perdue, Sam Myers (in the back) and Lauren Dale. Other cast members are Brynn Balmer, Mason Maginn, Ashtyn Dominique, Stephanie Munguia and Sierra Munguia. Jason Stuckey serves as the technician and Trinity Leady is the backstage manager. The plays will be performed during the day Friday for students and for the public at 7 p.m. Friday.
  • Front.F.school
    PROGRESS continues on the agriculture classroom addition at Fayette High School. The project will add 2,900 square feet of space and include an overhead door that would allow equipment to be driven inside. The building should be ready for the start of school in August. Work on ball fields and a running track is also underway.
  • Front.rover
    CLEARING THE WAY—Road crossings in the area on the construction route of the Rover natural gas pipeline are marked with poles and flags as preliminary work nears. Ditches and field entry points are covered with thick planks in many areas to support equipment for tree clearing operations. Actual pipeline construction is progressing across Ohio toward a collecting station near Defiance. That segment of the project is expected to wrap up in July. The 42-inch line through Michigan and into Ontario is scheduled for completion in November. The line is projected to transport 3.25 billion cubic feet of natural gas every day.
  • Front.geese
    ON THE MOVE—Six goslings head out on manuevers with their parents in an area lake. Baby waterfowl are showing up in lakes and ponds throughout the area.
  • Accident
    FAYETTE resident Patricia Stambaugh, 64, was declared dead on the scene of a single-vehicle accident Friday morning south of Morenci. Rescue units were called around 9 a.m., but as of Tuesday, law enforcement officers had not yet determined the time of the accident. According to Ohio State Highway Patrol, Stambaugh was driving west on U.S. 20 when her Chevrolet Malibu traveled off the north side of the road and down a steep embankment, coming to rest in Bean Creek (Tiffin River).
  • Front.teacher Leading
    PRESCHOOL MUSIC—Fayette band director Jeffrey Dunford spends the last half hour of the day leading the full-day preschool class in musical activities. Additional photos are on page 7 of this week’s Observer.
  • Front.poles
    MOVING EAST—Utility workers continue their slow progress east along U.S. 20 south of Morenci. New electrical poles are put in place before wiring is moved into place.
  • Face Paint
    FUN NIGHT FUN—Savanna Miles sits patiently while Abbie White works on a face paint design Friday during the Morenci PTO Fun Night. Gracie Snead watches the progress after having spent time in the chair. Abbie was one of several volunteer painters, each creating their own unique look. Additional photos are on the back page of this week’s Observer.

Weekly newspaper serving SE Michigan and NW Ohio - State Line Observer ©2006-2017