The Weekly Newspaper serving the citizens of Morenci, Mich., Fayette, Ohio, and surrounding areas.

  • KayseInField
    IN THE FIELD—2004 Morenci graduate Kayse Onweller works in a test plot of wheat in Texas. She’s part of Bayer CropScience’s North American wheat breeding program based in Nebraska, where she completed post-graduate work in plant breeding and genetics.
  • Front.winner
    REFEREE Camden Miller raises the hand of Morenci Jr. Dawgs wrestler Ryder Ryan as his opponent leaves the mat in disappointment. Morenci’s youth wrestling program served as host for a tournament Saturday morning to raise money for the club. Additional photos are on the back page.
  • Front.bank.2
    SHERWOOD STATE Bank opened its Fayette office at a grand opening Friday morning, drawing a large crowd to view the renovated building. Above, Burt Blue talks to teller Cindy Funk, while his wife, Jackie, looks around the new office. The Blues missed the opening and took a quick tour on Tuesday. Few traces remain of the former grocery store and theater, however, part of the original brick wall still shows in the hallway leading to the back of the building. The drive-through window should be ready for customers later in the month.
  • Front.carry.casket
    CARRYING—Riley Terry (blue jacket) and Mason Vaughn lead the way, carrying an empty casket outside to the hearse waiting at the curb. Morenci juniors and seniors visited Eagle Funeral Home last week to learn about the role of a funeral director and to understand the process of arranging for a funeral.
  • Front.lift
    MORENCI student Dalton McCowan puts everything into a dead lift attempt Saturday morning during the Wyseguy Push/Pull event. Lifters helped raise more than $1,600 for the family of the late Devin Wyse, a former Morenci power-lifter who graduated last year. Commemorative T-shirts are still available by contacting teacher Dan Hoffman.
  • Front.make.three
    FROM THE LEFT, Landon Wilkins, Ryan White and Logan Blaker try out their artistic skills Saturday afternoon at the Morenci PTO’s first Date to Create event. More than 50 people showed up to create decorated planks of wood to hang from rope. The event served as a fund-raiser for miscellaneous PTO projects. Additional photos are on the back of this week’s Observer.
  • Front.F.office
    NEW OFFICES—Fayette village administrator Steve Blue speaks with tax administrator Genna Biddix at the new front desk of the village office. Village council members voted to use budgeted renovation funds targeted for the old office and instead buy the vacant bank building on the corner of Main and Fayette streets. The old office was sold to Sherwood State Bank. When everything is put into place in the spacious new village office, an open house will be scheduled. Council member David Wheeler donated all of his time needed to make changes in the bank interior to fit the Village’s needs.

2011.08.24 Anyone have any answers? I have all the questions

Written by David Green.

By RICH FOLEY

I suppose there are a lot more important things in life to ponder than some of the stuff I wonder about, but add them all together and at least you’ll have a big pile of small questions. For example...

Every time I hear the song “Piano Man” by Billy Joel, I start thinking about the verse that starts “Paul is a real estate novelist who never had time for a wife...” Real estate novelist? What the heck is that? An author who writes novels about real estate? Is that a genre of literature only known to Mr. Joel and his fellow barflies in the song? How about it, Billy? Explain yourself, will you?

It’s hard to turn on a television without seeing reruns of “Seinfeld.” Even after stumbling across the same episodes for the twentieth or thirtieth time, Jerry is still tolerable, Elaine and George somewhat less so. But Kramer? Why did Jerry put up with him? I would have kept my door locked and looked for a new apartment (preferably far, far away), moving as soon as possible. But no, Jerry put up with the exasperating fool next door for the entire run of the series. Does that make any sense?

And how about those Jello pudding commercials with actors sporting grotesquely large “pudding face” smiles? That’s supposed to make me want the product? I think I’ll buy another brand that will leave my face alone.

Then there’s the 21st Century Insurance mime. A creepy mime is supposed to convince me to change insurance companies? Can he understand the hand signals I’m making when the commercial is on?

I realize I’m not in the product’s target audience, but does anyone else think Whoopi Goldberg’s advertisement for Poise is misguided? The product is for those suffering from a serious medical condition—is making fun of it a good idea? Will Whoopi do anything for money?

And how about her cohort on “The View,” Joy Behar? Does she have any discernible talent? If so, would someone mind telling me what it is? I know she is supposedly a comedienne, but where did that supposition come from?  Is there proof of her ever saying anything even remotely humorous? And HLN actually gave her an hour long show of her own? How far has the minimum level of talent necessary to host a show fallen? Who’s next to get their own show? Me?

Ever notice how whenever Behar makes what she apparently feels is a “joke,” she gets a big goofy grin on her face and looks from side to side, making sure we are listening? Actually, Joy, we’re asking ourselves: Why don’t we change the channel while we still have a few brain cells left? Is there a test pattern on somewhere we can watch instead?

 Many years ago, there used to be a product called “Absorbine, Jr.” I always used to wonder: Is there an Absorbine, Sr.? And if so, what happened to it? Finally after all these years, I’m now seeing ads for a similar product called simply “Absorbine.”  Did the old product drop the “Jr.” when it became an adult? 

And how about Uncle Ben’s converted rice? Was it converted from something else to rice? Or did it simply change its religion? If so, what religion was it before, and which one did it convert to?

Does anyone have an explanation for New York brand Texas Toast? Doesn’t using “New York” as a brand name for a product purportedly invented in Texas seem odd? Sort of like, say, San Antonio brand New York style bagels?

Is it just me, or is something happening to the pennies we get in change these days? Doesn’t it seem at least half are corroded to some extent, some of them so badly that they are almost unreadable? Are people picking them out of the debris in the bottom of their car cup holders after they’ve had a few years to rot along with the gum wrappers and spilled coffee? Why didn’t they just leave them there? Do we really need someone else’s decomposed small change in our own pockets?

That’s all the questions I have room for today. If anyone has any answers, I’d love to hear them. In the meantime, I have a pocketful of rotting pennies I need to take to the bank.

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