2011.06.29 Exotic, dazzling, fantastic dreams just a nap away

Written by David Green.

By RICH FOLEY

I have to laugh every time I see a commercial for Chantix, a prescription medicine for those trying to stop smoking. The commercial announcer used to say that side effects may include “vivid, unusual or strange dreams.” That warning must have scared off potential customers as he now cautions against unusual dreams only. Heck, I can have mystifying, unbelievable dreams without taking any drugs, prescription or not. I only need to fall asleep.

For whatever reason, I seem to have a wide range of celebrities making appearances in my dreams, regardless of whether or not their presence makes any sense. Take, for instance, a recent one in which I have become a rock singer.

In this fantasy, I’m in a recording studio with the Animals, a group I’m sure any of you who remember the 1960s will recall. I seem to have taken the place of lead singer Eric Burdon, something that could only happen in a dream. We’re trying to record the song “When I Was Young” (still with me, 1960s experts?). To add some additional strangeness, there is a baby in the recording studio. He’s a cute little boy, but his crying keeps interrupting take after take and no one seems to know who he belongs to.

Hold on, it gets weirder. One of the Animals is legendary NASCAR driver David Pearson. If there’s any reason a stock car driver from South Carolina would be performing with an English rock group, I’m not sure what it would be. And Pearson is just as confused by the crying baby as I am. What’s more, he never mentions whether he realizes I’m not Eric Burdon.

In another dream, I’m merely a record producer. A group of famous musicians including Neil Young, Bruce Springsteen and Emmylou Harris have gathered to record a tribute album to the late Warren Zevon. It’s been done once before, but with a wide selection of Zevon songs and friends wanting to participate, a second album was a natural.

My contribution of the new album’s title led to me getting the producer’s seat. I thought “Warren Zevon: Deader Than Ever” would be a great tribute album title, given the dark humor that permeated Warren’s writing and recording output and the fact that he has been gone eight years now. The approval of Warren’s son and daughter got me the job. Unfortunately, I woke up before I found out if I was any good at it.

Not every dream has a music industry connection. In one, I was visiting Chicago and ran into actor Randy Quaid. Since he’s supposed to be in exile in Canada hiding from “star whackers” he thinks are out to kill him, I was pretty surprised to see him. Granted, he was wearing an eye patch and blond afro wig, but there was no doubt it was him. He tried to deny it, but, as much as I like his work in real life, in my dream, he just wasn’t that good of an actor.

Two dreams found me in familiar surroundings with unusual companions. In the first, I was visiting Palmyra with, of all people, Courteney Cox. And what’s even better, in this dream, she’s my girlfriend. Had I got to choose, I might have preferred Mariah Carey, but I don’t have any control over what happens in Dreamland. I’m not sure why Courteney and I are in Palmyra, but I run into several people I know and introduce her as my fiancée. Apparently, I’ve done away with David Arquette and I don’t seem to be concerned about it.

In the second dream, I’m a customer at the Rite Aid pharmacy in Wauseon. It was a pretty boring dream until I ran into Tom Selleck. He’s pushing a shopping cart overflowing with...take a guess...no, paper towels! Dozens of rolls of them. Obviously, I have to ask him why he is in Wauseon and why does he need all those paper towels? And Tom Selleck, who always seemed to be so nice on television, told me to “Mind your own business, pal.” Gee, thanks, Magnum! 

Then there are the dreams that are not full of celebrities. There was one in which I was competing in the Olympic Games. I never found out what city I was in, but just the fact that I made any Olympic team seems pretty odd. At least until I ended up winning the gold medal in the 1,500 meter run. That was vivid, unusual and strange, all at once. And to the regret of the pharmaceutical industry, no Chantix was needed.

  • Homecoming Court
    HOMECOMING—One senior candidate will be chosen Morenci’s fall homecoming queen during half-time ceremonies Friday at the football field. In the back row are seniors Mikayla Price, who will be escorted by Mason Vaughn; Madison Bachman, escorted by Kiegan Merillat, and Mikayla Reinke, escorted by Griffin Grieder. Senior Ariana Roseman is absent from the photo. Her escort is Garrett Smith. In the front is sophomore Abbie White, who will be escorted by Ryder Price; junior Madysen Schmitz, escorted by Harley McCaskey and freshman Madison Keller, escorted by Jarett Cook.
  • Front.cross
    HUDSON RUNNER Jacob Morgan looks toward the top of the hill with dismay during the tough finish at Harrison Lake State Park. Fayette runner Jacob Garrow focuses on the summit, also, during the Eagle Invitational cross country run Saturday morning. Continuing rain and drizzle made the course even more challenging. Results of the race are in this week’s Observer.
  • Front.bear
    HOLDEN HUTCHISON gives a hug to a black bear cub—the product of a taxidermist’s skills—at the Michigan DNR’s Great Youth Jamboree. The event on Sunday marked the fourth year of the Jamboree. Additional photos are on page 12.
  • Front.crossing
    Crossing over—Jim Heiney was given a U.S. flag to carry by George Vereecke (behind Jim in the hat), turning him into the leader of the parade. Bridge Walk participants cross over Bean Creek while, in the background, members of the Morenci Legion Riders cross the main traffic bridge on East Street South. Additional photos appear on the back page of this week’s Observer.
  • Front.hose Testing
    HOSE safety—The FireCatt hose testing company from Troy put Morenci Fire Department hose to the test Monday morning when Mill Street was closed to traffic. The company also checks nozzles and ladders for wear in an effort to keep fire fighters safe while on calls.
  • Front.starting
    BIKE-A-THON—Children in Morenci’s Summer Recreation Program brought their bikes last Tuesday to participate in a bike-a-thon. Riders await the start of the event at the elementary school before being led on a course through town by organizer Leonie Leahy.
  • Front.train
    WRECKAGE—Morenci Fire Department member Taylor Schisler walks past the smoking wreckage of a semi-truck tractor on the north side of the Norfolk and Southern Railroad tracks on Ranger Highway. The truck trailer was on the south side of the tracks

Weekly newspaper serving SE Michigan and NW Ohio - State Line Observer ©2006-2016