2010.10.20 If your car overheats, don’t call an ad agency

Written by David Green.

By RICH FOLEY

I can’t help but laugh out loud when I see the new television commercial for Viagra. A guy in a late 1960s Chevy Camaro SS is driving along in some rural area when his classic car starts to overheat. Luckily for him, there happens to be a little country store just ahead.

He pulls in, and with the Camaro still steaming, saunters inside and purchases what appears to be about a one liter bottle of water. As he walks back outside, he opens the bottle and takes a sip, then pours the rest into the radiator of the Camaro. Then, he drives off into the sunset as the announcer finishes his spiel, leaving me with several questions.

First, what does any of this little scenario have to do with the merchandise being advertised? The only two products you see in the ad are the classic Chevy and the bottled water. Chevy is currently selling an updated version of the Camaro so the ad obviously wasn’t for them. If you weren’t listening to the announcer, you might think it was meant to sell Aquafina or some other brand of bottled water. I don’t see how watching the commercial would make me think of Viagra.

Secondly, and more importantly, at least for the longevity of the car, does this guy know the least thing about automobiles? Opening the radiator of a steaming, overheating automobile is a bad idea in the first place, unless you’re into third-degree burns on your hands or face. If you manage to dodge that bullet, dumping a large bottle of 35-degree water into a radiator heated past the boiling point will probably end up damaging either the radiator or the Camaro’s engine block. Even those “Car Talk” guys know that.

In their book, Tom and Ray Magliozzi of NPR’s “Car Talk” radio show recommend letting a steaming car sit for at least 30 minutes before you even open the hood. And heed their advice: “If you pour cold water in a hot engine, you might crack something.” If the Viagra ad was anything like real life, a follow-up might show the guy broke down for good somewhere near Donner Pass. And the only thing he might have to worry will last longer than four hours will be the wait for a tow truck.

Obviously, the folks handing out MBAs in advertising haven’t taught their graduates anything more about auto mechanics over the past decade. I still remember the old cell phone commercial from ten years ago starring Jamie Lee Curtis in which her late-1950s Cadillac strands her with an overheating problem. What’s the first thing she does? She takes off the radiator cap and looks inside!

Ten years later, after dozens of reconstructive and plastic surgeries restore her severely burned face to an appearance suitable for advertising campaigns, she finally gets a job promoting yogurt stuffed full of fiber, the only food she’s been able to eat since her horrible disfigurement. OK, OK, I made up the whole paragraph, but I hope you see my point. People can get hurt following the examples shown in these ads. You’d think the ad agencies would know better.

At least in Ms. Curtis’s old commercial, she used the cell phone manufactured by the sponsor to call a mechanic, who came to her rescue. At the end of the ad, she calls him back to invite him to a party. So the product in question was shown twice, solving a problem each time. That’s what you could call a good ad. The Viagra spot, not so much.

Granted, the Viagra folks can’t exactly show the product being used in their commercials, but they should be able to come up with something better than a guy abusing his classic car in the middle of nowhere. A slight tweaking of the ad might be in order.

Maybe before he follows through with his plan of dumping freezing water in his car’s hot radiator, he falls in love with the country store cashier, played (surprise!) by Jamie Lee Curtis. She invites him back to her place to wait while the Camaro cools down. He brings along his hidden stash of medication provided by his sponsor. She offers him a fiber-spiked yogurt furnished by hers. Sparks fly. Ain’t America great?

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    LATEST CRAZE—David Cortes (left) and Ty Kruse, along with Jerred Heselschwerdt (standing), consult their smartphones while engaging in the game of Pokémon Go. The virtual scavenger hunt comes to life when players are in the vicinity of gyms, such as Stair District Library, and PokéStops such as the fire station across the street. The boys had spent time Monday morning searching for Pokémon at Wakefield Park.
  • Front.drum
    on your mark, get set, drum!—Drew Joughin (black shirt), Maddox Joughin and Kaleea Braun took the front row last week when Angela Rettle and assistants led the Stair District Library Summer Reading Program kids in a session of cardio drumming. The sports and healthy living theme continued yesterday with a Mini Jamboree at Lake Hudson State Park arranged by the Michigan Department of Natural Resources. Next week’s program features the Flying Aces Frisbee show.
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    NADIYA YORK and Aniston Valentine take a spin on the Casino, one of the rides offered at Wakefield Park during Morenci’s Town and Country Festival. This year’s festival remained dry but with plenty of heat during the three-day run. Additional photographs are inside this week’s Observer.
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    Angela Davis (2) and teammate Allison VanBrandt break into a jig after Morenci's softball team won its third consecutive regional title.
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    ART PARK—A design created by Poggemeyer Design Group shows a “pocket art park” in the green space south of the State Line Observer building. The proposal includes a 12-foot sculpture based on a design created by Morenci sixth grade student Klara Wesley through a school and library collaboration. A wooden band shell is located at the back of the lot. The Observer wall would be covered with a synthetic stucco material. City council members are considering ways to fund the estimated $125,000 project and perhaps tackling construction one step at a time.
  • Front.train
    WRECKAGE—Morenci Fire Department member Taylor Schisler walks past the smoking wreckage of a semi-truck tractor on the north side of the Norfolk and Southern Railroad tracks on Ranger Highway. The truck trailer was on the south side of the tracks
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    LEONIE LEAHY was one of three local hair stylists who volunteered time Friday at the Morenci PTO Fun Night. Her customer, Aubrey Sandusky, looks up at her mother while her hair takes on a perfect match to her outfit. Leahy said she had a great time at the event—nothing but happy clients.
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    IN THE FIELD—2004 Morenci graduate Kayse Onweller works in a test plot of wheat in Texas. She’s part of Bayer CropScience’s North American wheat breeding program based in Nebraska, where she completed post-graduate work in plant breeding and genetics.
  • Front.soccer.balls
    BEVY OF BALLS—Stair District Library Summer Reading Program VolunTeens, including Libby Rorick, back left and Ty Kruse, back right, threw a dozen inflatable soccer balls into the crowd during a reading of “Sergio Saves the Game.” The sports-themed program continues on Wednesdays through July 27.
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