2006.11.15 Solitary entertainment

Written by David Green.

By JEFF PICKELL

As a 20-something living by my lonesome in a small city, there’s not much to keep me entertained on weekends around here, so I usually hit the road shortly after the office closes up Friday evening or Saturday at noon.

The problem is that all of my friends and family live about two hours away, and since I started my work here, it has become increasingly difficult to keep myself entertained during these car rides. Compounding my dilemma, especially at this time of the year, is how early it gets dark and how active the area wild life is.

Plumb in the middle of their mating season, deer of both sexes are going bananas. Squirrels and rabbits are scrambling to pile up rations for the cold. Opossums and raccoons are acting bizarre and absurd as they normally do. Bears, Michigan’s fiercest—and most cumbersome—predators, are gorging themselves before belching tastily and settling to sleep until next year.

In this part of the state, chances are pretty remote that a black bear will lumber into the path of my dinky Saturn, but judging by the harrowing amount of roadkill splattered along Ridge Highway, it’s not terribly unlikely that I, and my Saturn, encounter the more common area fauna during one of my trips to or from Morenci.

Drivers of colossal Mack trucks and F-150s with stiff steel deer deflectors (brush guards? Please.) speed over the landscape with much more vigor than I do, understandably. Any wildlife that impedes them would be inescapably and instantaneously transformed into chopped liver, then forgotten. However, they don’t seem to understand that my car’s fiberglass constitution and its lowness to the ground make things much more likely to crumble or blow out if a similar mishap befalls me.

Or maybe they do understand this, and ride up on me with their blinding headlights simply because they are unsympathetic. Whichever’s the case, my reaction is the same—I cling to the steering wheel with white knuckles, grind my teeth and curse until the numbskull tailgating me realizes that I’m going 40 because I want him to pass. And yes, it is always a him.

Then I drop back into boredom. Maybe six months ago, the local NPR station decided to do away with “The Next Big Thing,” a mostly entertaining variety show, in favor of “Living on Earth,” a show about environmental issues. At least, that’s the change they made to the 7 p.m Sunday slot.

Normally, I’m all for informative, environmentally conscious public radio. Unfortunately, “Living on Earth” is ridiculously boring. Ridiculously. So I’ve been tuning into a metro Detroit sports talk show that conveniently curdles to static right about the time I hit Milan.

It’s probably for the best—I should be devoting all of my attention to weaving away from extant dead animals and avoiding making new ones. Of course, I never do. I’m always concerned about the Monday workload surprises in store, or having the news stories I already produced returned with a long list of questions I hadn’t thought of or even thought of thinking of. Or anything else startling and horrifying that could happen in the next 40 hours or however long it takes to get the newspaper out.

The result is that I re-arrive in Morenci thoroughly stressed out, grumpy, frustrated, irritated, trembling, constipated and exhausted—so much so that the task of carrying my overburdened laundry basket up the stairs to my apartment is often just much, much too much.

Yesterday, feeling particularly not up to the drive back to Morenci, I took a gamble and bought a book on CD—“The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid” by Bill Bryson. It was a good choice. I never realized how much radio shows, even NPR programs, pause to hawk things for their sponsors. And I never realized how cranky it makes me when people try to sell me things.

Listening to Bryson’s amusing tales of life growing up in 1950s Des Moines in his un-homogenized midwestern accent—humble, unassuming, genuine—it was enough to keep me from going completely bonkers, even though last night’s trip through the starless, moonless, ink-black night was fantastically terrifying and riddled with dunderhead motorists—among them, myself.

Still, I managed to carry my basket upstairs and even change into my PJs before going to bed, so maybe I’ll check out another book on CD from the library before I leave next week.

    - Nov. 15, 2006 
  • Shadow.salon
    LEARNING THE ROPES—Kristy Castillo (left), co-owner of Mane Street Salon, works with Kendal Kuhn as Sierra Orner takes a phone call. The two Morenci Area High School juniors spent Friday at the salon as part of a job shadowing experience.
  • KayseInField
    IN THE FIELD—2004 Morenci graduate Kayse Onweller works in a test plot of wheat in Texas. She’s part of Bayer CropScience’s North American wheat breeding program based in Nebraska, where she completed post-graduate work in plant breeding and genetics.
  • Front.winner
    REFEREE Camden Miller raises the hand of Morenci Jr. Dawgs wrestler Ryder Ryan as his opponent leaves the mat in disappointment. Morenci’s youth wrestling program served as host for a tournament Saturday morning to raise money for the club. Additional photos are on the back page.
  • Front.bank.2
    SHERWOOD STATE Bank opened its Fayette office at a grand opening Friday morning, drawing a large crowd to view the renovated building. Above, Burt Blue talks to teller Cindy Funk, while his wife, Jackie, looks around the new office. The Blues missed the opening and took a quick tour on Tuesday. Few traces remain of the former grocery store and theater, however, part of the original brick wall still shows in the hallway leading to the back of the building. The drive-through window should be ready for customers later in the month.
  • Front.carry.casket
    CARRYING—Riley Terry (blue jacket) and Mason Vaughn lead the way, carrying an empty casket outside to the hearse waiting at the curb. Morenci juniors and seniors visited Eagle Funeral Home last week to learn about the role of a funeral director and to understand the process of arranging for a funeral.
  • Front.lift
    MORENCI student Dalton McCowan puts everything into a dead lift attempt Saturday morning during the Wyseguy Push/Pull event. Lifters helped raise more than $1,600 for the family of the late Devin Wyse, a former Morenci power-lifter who graduated last year. Commemorative T-shirts are still available by contacting teacher Dan Hoffman.
  • Front.make.three
    FROM THE LEFT, Landon Wilkins, Ryan White and Logan Blaker try out their artistic skills Saturday afternoon at the Morenci PTO’s first Date to Create event. More than 50 people showed up to create decorated planks of wood to hang from rope. The event served as a fund-raiser for miscellaneous PTO projects. Additional photos are on the back of this week’s Observer.

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