Gardener's Grapevine 2013.05.22

Written by Steve Lauber.

This week I learned something I never thought I would need to know: you cannot flush dandelions down the toilet. Apparently they refuse to go down and won’t let anything else go down either.

I can start out by saying I dislike dandelions very much, they stress me out. One plant can populate into a hundred in no time. When I see those fuzzy white heads blowing in the wind I feel my blood pressure beginning to rise as I envision them choking out what I really want in my beds. I dislike them so much my husband has turned it into a family joke.

Today when we went to church I walked past the landscaping and groaned, damn dandelions in with the perinnials. Is it a sin to say damn when you are attempting to beautify your church yard? Well, damn damn damn…those things gotta go.

My wonderfully loving husband gave up part of his only day off to help me plant the flowers at the church, and of course get rid of the cursed dandelions. The plants look great, but one has to wonder, does all that mulch really break down? The year before last we put down nearly an entire skid of mulch and most of it is MIA. I know a certain amount gets swept away by various things such as rain, wind and leaf blowers, but there's a lot that is going to need some TLC.

Art and I are two very busy people with less than 20 years until retirement. You would think our ducks would be in more of a row. We both work a lot of hours and work on gardening, home and hobbies the rest of the time.

Tomorrow we will begin a new chapter in our lives, as our first grandchild will be born. He is due to come into this world via surgery, so he is a little more planned than we had thought he would be. We are very thrilled to see our family grow as we all know family is everything and ours is incredibly close.

New babies are a lot like new species of garden plants. We don’t quite know what they will look like and the anticipation is a killer. I have no problem with buying a new type of plant and throwing it in my beds. If it turns out to be a dud or invasive, I rip it out and toss it. I guess they’re not exactly like babies as we have no intention of throwing our grandson out if he isn’t up to snuff in the looks department. As with all families, we will just pray he improves with age. I can write that because both his parents were and are beautiful babies and adults.

I know he will be a keeper.

Hope he likes to garden because this grammie is an outdoors kind of grammie.

This child comes into the world with a lot of people waiting to hold and love him as do many babies. I wish I could feel even a little of that for those damn dandelions. Oh yeah, and if you want to know more about flushing dandelions, the local expert lives on Sims Highway. I heard he’s a pretty good plumber, too!

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