2007.01.24 Read it and weep

Written by David Green.

By COLLEEN LEDDY

My sleeping pattern is beginning to irritate my husband. When left to my own devices, my body inclines toward bedding down at 4 a.m. and waking at noon. This schedule harkens back to college days when I rarely took morning classes. I knew in high school that I would never realize my lifelong dream to be a farmer when, finally given the opportunity to work on a farm, I cringed daily when awakened at 5:30 a.m.

David might not mind my habits so much if I just slipped quietly and unobtrusively into bed, but most nights, especially in the winter, I create a disturbance as I trip over laundry baskets or knock a pile of clothes off my dresser as I add my recently removed sweatshirts and scarf to the mess. And then I fiddle around my bedside table looking for my bed socks. It takes a while for my eyes to adjust to the darkness and I usually send my reading lamp or a box of tissues to the floor as I feel around for the socks.

My feet are freezing, heck, my whole body is ice cold, and I don’t want to shock the heck out of David as I ease my way under the covers. But try as I might, I almost never fail to wake him out of his slumber. In my defense, he is an incredibly light sleeper. Even when I am as quiet as the proverbial mouse, even if he is snoring like a bear in winter, just my mere presence seems to wake him.

It was 5:30 in the morning last week and I had just snuggled into bed. I was deep under the feathers when the idea for a summer reading program theme hit me. The general topic at the library this summer is food and I’ve been kicking around several catchy phrases for several months now, but this was a really good one.

“Read it and eat!” I said aloud, delighted with myself. David had been stirring, so I figured he was awake.

“Read it and eat.”

“Read it and eat.”

“Read it and eat.”

“I don’t have any paper up here,” I said. “I’ve got to remember it. Read it and eat. Read it and eat.”

“Shut up and sleep!” David responded groggily.

I know he’s getting annoyed.

“I want to hear you make a pledge about when you’re going to go to bed tonight,” David said amiably Sunday night after I’d been consistently climbing into bed around 3:00 and 4:00 in the morning.

“I’m gonna try to go to bed at 1:00,” I said, “but I might be in the middle of something.”

“Just put it down and go to bed,” he advised.

“You’ve been married to me for almost 25 years...” I reminded him.

“Yeah, but I slept through most of those years,” he said.

I laughed, but I made a very concerted effort to go to bed early Sunday night. I made it by 1:30, but, unable to sleep, read until 2:30. And then I had the most bizarre dreams. I woke at 9:00 feeling as if I had never slept at all. This early-to-bed business just doesn’t sit well with me.

I will keep trying because I love my husband and he is good to me. Just this evening when I was making dinner and complained of a pounding headache, he retrieved the aspirin for me so I wouldn’t have to dry my hands.

And, in anticipation of frying smells, he offered to replace the nice jacket I had on with the more casual one hanging in the bathroom. We’re always trying to avoid smelling like fried onions.

“It’s the pink one,” I said, referring to a pink sweatshirt with a zippered fleece inside—a double layer against the cold of our house.

As he put the pink sweatshirt through one arm while I pulled cloves of garlic from the bulb, I noticed the inside layer was missing.

“What about the orange one that goes inside?” I asked

He muttered something about pulling that one out because I asked for the pink one, but went to retrieve it

“If you think this is orange...” he started, as he brought it into the kitchen.

“Don’t argue with me,” I warned, head still pounding. “I think I may have a cerebral hemorrhage.”

“There’s not enough cerebral to hemorrhage,” he countered.

He is right, of course. The inside fleece is more maroon than orange. But I’ve moved on to the chopping stage and I’m holding the knife.

    - Jan. 24, 2007 
  • Play Practice
    DRAMA—Fayette schools, in conjunction with the Opera House Theater program, will present two plays Friday night at the Fayette Opera House. From the left is Autumn Black, Wyatt Mitchell, Elizabeth Myers, Jonah Perdue, Sam Myers (in the back) and Lauren Dale. Other cast members are Brynn Balmer, Mason Maginn, Ashtyn Dominique, Stephanie Munguia and Sierra Munguia. Jason Stuckey serves as the technician and Trinity Leady is the backstage manager. The plays will be performed during the day Friday for students and for the public at 7 p.m. Friday.
  • Front.F.school
    PROGRESS continues on the agriculture classroom addition at Fayette High School. The project will add 2,900 square feet of space and include an overhead door that would allow equipment to be driven inside. The building should be ready for the start of school in August. Work on ball fields and a running track is also underway.
  • Front.rover
    CLEARING THE WAY—Road crossings in the area on the construction route of the Rover natural gas pipeline are marked with poles and flags as preliminary work nears. Ditches and field entry points are covered with thick planks in many areas to support equipment for tree clearing operations. Actual pipeline construction is progressing across Ohio toward a collecting station near Defiance. That segment of the project is expected to wrap up in July. The 42-inch line through Michigan and into Ontario is scheduled for completion in November. The line is projected to transport 3.25 billion cubic feet of natural gas every day.
  • Front.geese
    ON THE MOVE—Six goslings head out on manuevers with their parents in an area lake. Baby waterfowl are showing up in lakes and ponds throughout the area.
  • Accident
    FAYETTE resident Patricia Stambaugh, 64, was declared dead on the scene of a single-vehicle accident Friday morning south of Morenci. Rescue units were called around 9 a.m., but as of Tuesday, law enforcement officers had not yet determined the time of the accident. According to Ohio State Highway Patrol, Stambaugh was driving west on U.S. 20 when her Chevrolet Malibu traveled off the north side of the road and down a steep embankment, coming to rest in Bean Creek (Tiffin River).
  • Front.teacher Leading
    PRESCHOOL MUSIC—Fayette band director Jeffrey Dunford spends the last half hour of the day leading the full-day preschool class in musical activities. Additional photos are on page 7 of this week’s Observer.
  • Front.poles
    MOVING EAST—Utility workers continue their slow progress east along U.S. 20 south of Morenci. New electrical poles are put in place before wiring is moved into place.
  • Face Paint
    FUN NIGHT FUN—Savanna Miles sits patiently while Abbie White works on a face paint design Friday during the Morenci PTO Fun Night. Gracie Snead watches the progress after having spent time in the chair. Abbie was one of several volunteer painters, each creating their own unique look. Additional photos are on the back page of this week’s Observer.

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