The Weekly Newspaper serving the citizens of Morenci, Mich., Fayette, Ohio, and surrounding areas.

  • KayseInField
    IN THE FIELD—2004 Morenci graduate Kayse Onweller works in a test plot of wheat in Texas. She’s part of Bayer CropScience’s North American wheat breeding program based in Nebraska, where she completed post-graduate work in plant breeding and genetics.
  • Front.winner
    REFEREE Camden Miller raises the hand of Morenci Jr. Dawgs wrestler Ryder Ryan as his opponent leaves the mat in disappointment. Morenci’s youth wrestling program served as host for a tournament Saturday morning to raise money for the club. Additional photos are on the back page.
  • Front.bank.2
    SHERWOOD STATE Bank opened its Fayette office at a grand opening Friday morning, drawing a large crowd to view the renovated building. Above, Burt Blue talks to teller Cindy Funk, while his wife, Jackie, looks around the new office. The Blues missed the opening and took a quick tour on Tuesday. Few traces remain of the former grocery store and theater, however, part of the original brick wall still shows in the hallway leading to the back of the building. The drive-through window should be ready for customers later in the month.
  • Front.carry.casket
    CARRYING—Riley Terry (blue jacket) and Mason Vaughn lead the way, carrying an empty casket outside to the hearse waiting at the curb. Morenci juniors and seniors visited Eagle Funeral Home last week to learn about the role of a funeral director and to understand the process of arranging for a funeral.
  • Front.lift
    MORENCI student Dalton McCowan puts everything into a dead lift attempt Saturday morning during the Wyseguy Push/Pull event. Lifters helped raise more than $1,600 for the family of the late Devin Wyse, a former Morenci power-lifter who graduated last year. Commemorative T-shirts are still available by contacting teacher Dan Hoffman.
  • Front.make.three
    FROM THE LEFT, Landon Wilkins, Ryan White and Logan Blaker try out their artistic skills Saturday afternoon at the Morenci PTO’s first Date to Create event. More than 50 people showed up to create decorated planks of wood to hang from rope. The event served as a fund-raiser for miscellaneous PTO projects. Additional photos are on the back of this week’s Observer.
  • Front.F.office
    NEW OFFICES—Fayette village administrator Steve Blue speaks with tax administrator Genna Biddix at the new front desk of the village office. Village council members voted to use budgeted renovation funds targeted for the old office and instead buy the vacant bank building on the corner of Main and Fayette streets. The old office was sold to Sherwood State Bank. When everything is put into place in the spacious new village office, an open house will be scheduled. Council member David Wheeler donated all of his time needed to make changes in the bank interior to fit the Village’s needs.

2013.05.08 Go nuts over paraprosdokians, but not wheat

Written by David Green.

By COLLEEN LEDDY

It is only May and I am almost out of pecans. I can’t fathom how that happened so soon, so fast, but it’s true—from the case of twelve I bought in the fall from the Congregational Church Ladies Union fund raiser, I have only two bags left.

We eat a lot of nuts in my house. And we’ve been eating even more since my foray into a world without wheat.

“Eat raw nuts. Raw almonds, walnuts, pecans, pistachios, hazelnuts, Brazil nuts, and cashews are wonderful. And you can eat as much as you want....You can’t overdue nuts, provided they’re raw,” says Dr. William Davis.

I started reading his book, “Wheat Belly: Lose the Wheat, Lose the Weight, and Find Your Path Back to Health” about a month ago and decided to eliminate wheat from my diet. David had already slowed down his consumption many months ago, suspecting wheat was causing some issues for him.

But, it really didn’t help that I was bringing bread into the house on a regular basis. It’s hard to abstain when it sits on the counter staring you in the face. I figured I could make life easier for him—and maybe lose my middle in the process.

Dr. Davis claims his patients lose a lot of weight when they ditch wheat. I know it’s too soon to expect to see much change, but I haven’t lost a pound since making the vow. My belly isn’t going anywhere. It’s the same old jelly belly as it was a month ago.

Of course, true confession: I can’t really claim to have totally eliminated wheat from my diet. Most recently, there was that chocolate cake calling to me at a restaurant we ate at with friends near Detroit before I took off for a short trip to visit Ryland in Miami.

“You’re on vacation!” our friend John reminded me. And I totally subscribe to that sentiment, but I may need to stop going on vacation.

Yes, I have back-slided some, but I haven’t eaten a slice of bread in my house in nearly a month. No late-night bowls of Cheerios, no grilled cheese or fried potato and onion sandwiches, not even any pasta. It seems like that would count for something.

But I know it doesn’t when I’m eating at a Haitian restaurant in Miami and the waitress plunks down a basket of fragrant rolls, piping hot from the oven.

It’s like that paraprosdokian: “I try to watch what I eat and yet my eyes just aren't quick enough.”

Have you heard that word before? I just learned it Monday morning when my friend Adrienne sent a forwarded email with a list of them. I had no idea there was a word besides “funny” for these one-liners, but now I know it’s “paraprosdokian” and that they are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected.

Here are some from Adrienne’s email:

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

 If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

 To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

And some from Wikipedia which provided the source of the paraprosdokians:

There but for the grace of God—goes God." —Winston Churchill

If I am reading this graph correctly — I'd be very surprised." —Stephen Colbert

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." —Groucho Marx

If I could just say a few words… I'd be a better public speaker." —Homer Simpson

I sleep eight hours a day and at least ten at night." —Bill Hicks

I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat." —Will Rogers

I love paraprosdokians!

About as much as I love chocolate covered peanuts—I discovered I had two bags left when I searched my Ladies Union nut stash. Well, more disclosure. Make that one bag.

My eyes really aren't quick enough.

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