The Weekly Newspaper serving the citizens of Morenci, Mich., Fayette, Ohio, and surrounding areas.

  • Front.sculpt
    SKEWERS, gumdrops, and marshmallows are all that’s needed to create interesting shapes and designs for Layla McDowell Saturday at Stair District Library’s “Sculptamania!” Open House. The program featuring design games and materials is one part of a larger project funded by a $7,500 Curiosity Creates grant from Disney and the American Library Association. Additional photos are on page 7.
    Morenci marching band members took to the field Friday night dressed for Halloween during the Bulldog’s first playoff game. Morenci fans had a bit of a scare until the fourth quarter when the Bulldogs scored 30 points to leave Lenawee Christian School behind. Whiteford visits Morenci this Friday for the district championship game. From the left is Clayton Borton, Morgan Merillat and James O’Brien.
    DNA PUZZLE—Mitchell Storrs and Wyatt Mohr tackle a puzzle representing the structure of DNA. There’s only one correct way for all the pieces to fit. It’s one of the new materials that can be used in both biology and chemistry classes, said teacher Loretta Cox.
  • Front.tar.wide
    A TRAFFIC control worker stands in the middle of Morenci’s Main Street Tuesday morning, waiting for the next flow of vehicles to be let through from the west. The dusty gravel surface was sealed with a layer of tar, leaving only the application of paint for new striping. The project was completed in conjunction with county road commission work west of Morenci.
  • Front.pull
    JUNIORS Jazmin Smith and Trevor Corkle struggle against a team from the sophomore class Friday during the annual tug of war at the Homecoming Games pep rally. Even the seniors struggled against the sophomores who won the competition. At the main course of the day, the Bulldog football team struggled against Whiteford in a homecoming loss.
    YOUNG soccer players surived a chilly morning Saturday in Morenci’s PTO league. From the left is Emma Cordts, Wayne Corser, Carter and Levi Seitz, Briella York and Drew Joughin. Two more weeks of soccer remain for this season.
  • Front.ropes
    BOWEN BAUMGARTNER of Morenci makes his way across a rope bridge constructed by the Tecumseh Boy Scout troop Sunday at Lake Hudson Recreation Area. The bridge was one of many challenges, displays and games set up for the annual Youth Jamboree by the Michigan DNR. Additional photos on are the back page of this week’s Observer.
  • Front.homecoming Court
    One of four senior candidates will be crowned the fall homecoming queen during half-time of this week’s Morenci-Whiteford football game. In the back row (left to right) is exchange student Kinga Vidor (her escort will be Caylob Alcock), seniors Alli VanBrandt (escorted by Sam Cool), Larissa Elliott (escorted by Clayton Borton), Samantha Wright (escorted by JJ Elarton) and Justis McCowan (escorted by Austin Gilson), and exchange student Rebecca Rosenberger (escorted by Garrett Smith). Front row freshman court member Allie Kaiser (escorted by Anthony Thomas), sophomore Marlee Blaker (escorted by Nate Elarton) and junior Cheyenne Stone (escorted by Dominick Sell).
  • Front.park.lights
    GETTING READY—Jerad Gleckler pounds nails to secure a string of holiday lights on the side of the Wakefield Park concession stand while other members of the Volunteer Club and others hold them in place. The volunteers showed up Sunday afternoon to string lights at the park. The decorating project will continue this Sunday. Denise Walsh is in charge of the effort this year.

2011.11.09 Is anything funnier than undergarments?

Written by David Green.


I don’t read as frequently as I used to which is a sad situation for a woman who works in a library. Worse yet is choosing less than satisfying books so when I do have a little time to read I am stuck with something like “It Looked Different on the Model: Epic tales of impending shame and infamy.” 

That’s the book I had on hand after completing “Schuyler’s Monster” by Robert Rummel-Hudson. It’s a memoir about dealing with his daughter’s diagnosis of bilateral perisylvian polymicrogyria (a very rare neurological disorder). 

Somehow, after days of plowing through the agony of Robert coming to terms with his daughter’s disorder and fighting for her right to proper educational services, “It Looked Different on the Model” just seems trite and shallow and hardly worth the time. 

Maybe it’s just the mood I’ve been in while reading, but Notaro’s escapades in the dressing room trying to take off a blouse that’s stuck on her head and to her arms just didn’t make me laugh. And usually I find anybody stuck in their clothes funny. 

Well, that’s not altogether true. When I get my head stuck taking off a tight necked turtleneck, I get claustrophobic and start to yell and almost cry depending on how long I’m trapped. But when it’s trying on Spandex body squeezers in the dressing room with my daughter Rosie, I laugh hysterically.

From Midnight Musings, April 30, 2008, a couple months before Rosie’s wedding: 

I shimmied and I struggled, and I tugged and I sucked, and I huffed and I puffed, but I still could not get that thing to go past my upper thigh. Flesh oozed out over the waistband in quantities I didn’t even know existed. I was stuck at half mast, laughing uncontrollably at my predicament, thankful that the bathroom had been our first stop.

Rosie was laughing just as hard—until other customers entered the otherwise empty changing room. And then she went into silent laughter mode which just made me laugh harder every time I looked at her. 

The sight of myself in the mirror was even funnier—half-naked cross-legged woman struggling to pull up an impossibly tight straight jacket device—and then Rosie came from behind and yanked it up, breaking the logjam.

“The package says it’ll make you 10 pounds lighter in 10 seconds, but I think it took you a lot longer,” she said.

That episode was probably one of the funniest in my life, ranking right up there with the bathing suit fiasco while on vacation with Rosie and Maddie six years ago.

From Midnight Musings, August 3, 2005:

On our last night in Puerto Rico, we stayed at the Hilton in San Juan. Maddie had found a great rate on the Internet and it was the perfect ending to the trip. After a late afternoon and evening in Old San Juan we hurried back to swim in the huge stunning pool. I hurried the girls along, since, for once, I was dressed first, clad in my new two-piece bathing suit (pink tank top, black bottoms) and bright blue sarong worn as a skirt.

Rosie and Maddie stepped into the pool first and as they told me how wonderful the water was, I undid the knot on my sarong and opened the cloth out from my body, ready to drop it on the lounge chair and walk into the pool.

With a look of shock, awe and amazement, Rozee pulled me up short.

“Mom! You’re wearing your underwear!” she said. Sure enough, there I stood—pink bathing suit top and my big old white underpants...

But, back to the books...

So, imagine how excited I was to learn that David had finished the book he interloaned recently, “The Psychopath Test” by Jon Ronson, the same guy who wrote “The Men Who Stare at Goats,” which was made into a movie. David had mentioned snippets here and there as he was reading it and it sounded intriguing.

How intriguing? So intriguing I read more than half of it Sunday night. I couldn’t put it down. It’s kind of the literary equivalent of choosing the wrong meal in a restaurant. David almost always orders the better meal and I sit there eyeing it with great regret all through dinner. His books are almost always better than mine. Or at least more surprisingly substantial and meaty.

Hmm, which should worry me more—that my funniest moments in life have to do with undergarments or that I work in a library and can’t pick out satisfying books?

need help on the ending...

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