2006.02.01 Mental afflictions, addictions

Written by David Green.

By COLLEEN LEDDY

It ain’t easy being Colleen.

If only I had changed my last name to my husband’s I could say, like Kermit the Frog, it ain’t easy being Green.

But you get the idea. You know you are about to hear the foibles and follies of being me.

Actually, it’s not so much foibles and follies as the permanent state of being mentally deranged.

All because of an expression I heard recently, I know not where, I am questioning my sanity.

“What, are you mental?”

Did you used to say that? My dim memory recalls frequent use of that expression during high school days. But I’ve realized that my 30th high school reunion is this year, so maybe I am off by a few years. Maybe it’s an expression from a movie that transported me back to my high school days in New York.

“What, are you mental?” is a great expression, although you risk being politically incorrect and socially insensitive. But, said with a New York accent, it just makes me feel at home again.

I call my Greek friend Kay to see if she remembers using that expression back when we were in high school.

“Where did it come from?” I ask.

“It comes from the Greek,” is her immediate response. “Everything comes from the Greek.”

“It came from Brooklyn,” says her boyfriend, Jerry. Guess where Jerry grew up?

“Who remembers expressions like that from high school?” Kay asks. She thinks I’m nuts for asking.

“I remember things like falling on my face when I jumped the hurdles in track,” she says, “and how you wouldn’t stop screaming when we were donating blood in the gym.”

They are no help, but Kay does think the expression has been around for a while, so I think maybe I am not so crazy, after all.

Except that I am rethinking my brother Kevin’s comments about addictive personality disorder which he says is common with children of alcoholics. I never gave it much thought beyond my inability to stop eating chocolate. But now that I’ve given sudoku a try, I’m convinced I’m a goner in the addiction department.

When I first heard about that puzzle craze, I thought, “What a waste of time!” Why would anyone want to figure out which number goes where in a box of nine squares within a grid of nine squares so all the numbers from one to nine are used only once within each box and all the numbers are used only once in all the columns and rows of the grid?

Crossword puzzles at least involve the use of a dictionary and learning new words or expressions. Sudoku just seemed like a mind-numbing waste of time. Bob Dister was explaining it one day and I just gave him what-for about it. And then later I thought, how can I judge something that I haven’t even tried? So I tried it and man, once you start, there’s no stopping. David walks into the kitchen saying, “One, six, nine...” trying to distract me as I struggle away filling in those squares, dishes undone, dinner unmade.

I have to completely ban myself from the activity. It doesn’t work to set the timer for 30 minutes of sudoku and then start dinner. No, I have to refrain from opening the newspaper to the puzzle page in the first place. Otherwise, there will be no dinner.

However, for voodoo purposes there will be dinner. Monday night, I made oven fried potatoes and chicken fried rice.  Part of the reason I made them was for Rozee who returned safely from Rome, but for complicated reasons left for Traverse City and wouldn’t be home for dinner. My wacko voodoo calls for me to do things that don’t make sense to anybody but me. Making those potato nuggets of joy and chicken fried rice that Rozee wasn’t going to enjoy is just part of my perverse arsenal of bringing-’em-home-alive tricks.

The potatoes, delectable little buggers coated in olive oil, sprinkled with salt, cracked pepper and granulated garlic and baked at 450 degrees for 45 or so minutes were especially delicious.

“These potatoes are really good,” I say to David.

“Yeah, don’t OD on them,” he says.

“OD?” I ask.

“Overdose,” he explains.

“I know what ‘OD’ means,” I say. “Why would you say that?”

“I don’t know...” He’s sounding sorry he said it.

“Are you trying to tell me something?”

OK, now add paranoia to my list of mental afflictions.

– February 1, 2006
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    LEARNING THE ROPES—Kristy Castillo (left), co-owner of Mane Street Salon, works with Kendal Kuhn as Sierra Orner takes a phone call. The two Morenci Area High School juniors spent Friday at the salon as part of a job shadowing experience.
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    IN THE FIELD—2004 Morenci graduate Kayse Onweller works in a test plot of wheat in Texas. She’s part of Bayer CropScience’s North American wheat breeding program based in Nebraska, where she completed post-graduate work in plant breeding and genetics.
  • Front.winner
    REFEREE Camden Miller raises the hand of Morenci Jr. Dawgs wrestler Ryder Ryan as his opponent leaves the mat in disappointment. Morenci’s youth wrestling program served as host for a tournament Saturday morning to raise money for the club. Additional photos are on the back page.
  • Front.bank.2
    SHERWOOD STATE Bank opened its Fayette office at a grand opening Friday morning, drawing a large crowd to view the renovated building. Above, Burt Blue talks to teller Cindy Funk, while his wife, Jackie, looks around the new office. The Blues missed the opening and took a quick tour on Tuesday. Few traces remain of the former grocery store and theater, however, part of the original brick wall still shows in the hallway leading to the back of the building. The drive-through window should be ready for customers later in the month.
  • Front.carry.casket
    CARRYING—Riley Terry (blue jacket) and Mason Vaughn lead the way, carrying an empty casket outside to the hearse waiting at the curb. Morenci juniors and seniors visited Eagle Funeral Home last week to learn about the role of a funeral director and to understand the process of arranging for a funeral.
  • Front.lift
    MORENCI student Dalton McCowan puts everything into a dead lift attempt Saturday morning during the Wyseguy Push/Pull event. Lifters helped raise more than $1,600 for the family of the late Devin Wyse, a former Morenci power-lifter who graduated last year. Commemorative T-shirts are still available by contacting teacher Dan Hoffman.
  • Front.make.three
    FROM THE LEFT, Landon Wilkins, Ryan White and Logan Blaker try out their artistic skills Saturday afternoon at the Morenci PTO’s first Date to Create event. More than 50 people showed up to create decorated planks of wood to hang from rope. The event served as a fund-raiser for miscellaneous PTO projects. Additional photos are on the back of this week’s Observer.

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