2007.07.22 Dodging zings and arrows of children

Written by David Green.

By COLLEEN LEDDY

Normally, the only time I wear make-up is when I’m embarrassing myself in front of scores of kids at Morenci Elementary School, dressed up in some hideous outfit that is loosely related to the library’s Summer Reading Program theme. I’m just trying to make myself memorable enough that the kids won’t forget to tell their parents some nut dressed in a hideous outfit came to school to promote Stair Public Library’s reading program.

This year, I didn’t have to slather on the grease paint since my re-incarnated chicken costume included a large beak and sunglasses. In past years, especially the year I was Gina the Gypsy, it would take me many precious minutes making myself colorful. The time spent applying make-up—I don’t know how girls and women can afford it. And it’s not just applying it—you have to take the stuff off at night, too. I just don’t have the patience for it. And then there’s the ingredients—who knows what the heck we’re applying to our skin which is then being absorbed into our bloodstream?

But it’s a gloomy picture when I look in the mirror these days. The grayer I get, the blotchier my skin gets and the more pronounced the bags under my eyes get. Usually, I’m in such a rush I don’t even have time to look at myself so I’m not even aware of the many flaws. But when I was standing in a hotel bathroom with my daughters primping for a wedding in June, I offered up my face to them. Maddie dabbed me with some powdery stuff and in the fluorescent light I could see marked improvement—bags be gone!

I figure with Rozee’s wedding just around the corner (July 2008 will be here in no time) I better get used to this make-up business. So, for the next wedding we attended, I joined them again at the bathroom mirror for more treatment.

“Here, try this,” said Rozee as she dabbed some kind of powder foundation under my eyes. “It has minerals.”

“I can still see my bags,” I said when she was done.

“Use mine.  It’s better,” said Maddie, as she handed me her version of foundation.

“I can still see them,” I said, after applying hers.

“It’s not magic,” Maddie replied, stating the obvious.

Ah, children. All grown up and still they wound thy heart.

They struck again Saturday. Rozee called me at the library to say Ben had just called home and she was calling to relay his message.

“Ben said he and Sarah got...”

And before she could finish the sentence, I immediately thought, “engaged!”

But Rozee continued, “...library cards. He thought you would want to know,” she said.

“He said the cards are really nice and you’re going to be jealous,” she said. “He said he’ll send a picture.”

Ever since Ben moved to Miami, I’ve been suggesting he visit his local library. It’s only taken a year and now that he’s done it, I should be thrilled. Instead I’m disappointed—I really thought Rozee was going to say he was engaged.

It’s probably because I have weddings on the brain—I’ve been to three in the last eight weeks, Rozee is making wedding plans, and everywhere I turn there seems to be another story about weddings.

I read one just today about Detroit Free Press editor Ron Dzwonkowski’s particularly ill-fated day. A series of mishaps included the bride who hobbled down the aisle after being injured in a car crash the day before (while en route to a funeral home to pay her respects to an uncle who had just died), the priest who was stuck in Pittsburgh with car trouble, the brother who fainted from the heat during the vows, another car crash in which their wedding cake ended up across Middlebelt Rd., and the photographer who disappeared after the wedding reception never to be heard from again.

Thirty-four years later, Ron and his wife can laugh about their disastrous wedding, because, as they have learned, “it’s the marriage that matters.”

I’ll have to remind Rozee of that. Then it won’t matter if make-up won’t hide my bags at her wedding.

  • Play Practice
    DRAMA—Fayette schools, in conjunction with the Opera House Theater program, will present two plays Friday night at the Fayette Opera House. From the left is Autumn Black, Wyatt Mitchell, Elizabeth Myers, Jonah Perdue, Sam Myers (in the back) and Lauren Dale. Other cast members are Brynn Balmer, Mason Maginn, Ashtyn Dominique, Stephanie Munguia and Sierra Munguia. Jason Stuckey serves as the technician and Trinity Leady is the backstage manager. The plays will be performed during the day Friday for students and for the public at 7 p.m. Friday.
  • Front.F.school
    PROGRESS continues on the agriculture classroom addition at Fayette High School. The project will add 2,900 square feet of space and include an overhead door that would allow equipment to be driven inside. The building should be ready for the start of school in August. Work on ball fields and a running track is also underway.
  • Front.rover
    CLEARING THE WAY—Road crossings in the area on the construction route of the Rover natural gas pipeline are marked with poles and flags as preliminary work nears. Ditches and field entry points are covered with thick planks in many areas to support equipment for tree clearing operations. Actual pipeline construction is progressing across Ohio toward a collecting station near Defiance. That segment of the project is expected to wrap up in July. The 42-inch line through Michigan and into Ontario is scheduled for completion in November. The line is projected to transport 3.25 billion cubic feet of natural gas every day.
  • Front.geese
    ON THE MOVE—Six goslings head out on manuevers with their parents in an area lake. Baby waterfowl are showing up in lakes and ponds throughout the area.
  • Accident
    FAYETTE resident Patricia Stambaugh, 64, was declared dead on the scene of a single-vehicle accident Friday morning south of Morenci. Rescue units were called around 9 a.m., but as of Tuesday, law enforcement officers had not yet determined the time of the accident. According to Ohio State Highway Patrol, Stambaugh was driving west on U.S. 20 when her Chevrolet Malibu traveled off the north side of the road and down a steep embankment, coming to rest in Bean Creek (Tiffin River).
  • Front.teacher Leading
    PRESCHOOL MUSIC—Fayette band director Jeffrey Dunford spends the last half hour of the day leading the full-day preschool class in musical activities. Additional photos are on page 7 of this week’s Observer.
  • Front.poles
    MOVING EAST—Utility workers continue their slow progress east along U.S. 20 south of Morenci. New electrical poles are put in place before wiring is moved into place.
  • Face Paint
    FUN NIGHT FUN—Savanna Miles sits patiently while Abbie White works on a face paint design Friday during the Morenci PTO Fun Night. Gracie Snead watches the progress after having spent time in the chair. Abbie was one of several volunteer painters, each creating their own unique look. Additional photos are on the back page of this week’s Observer.

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