2002.08.21 A time for wackos

Written by David Green.

By DAVID GREEN

My wife is a wacko. She can make time stop.

Relatively speaking, she’s not very wacky at all compared to some other people I’ve read about, but still, she could earn her place on the Weird Science web page.

That’s where people write in about their odd experiences, wacky observations and rather odd skills and abilities. Weird science originator William Beatty says that this is the place to report unusual phenomena.

He helps people overcome their reluctance to looking like a wacko with these words: “Have you ever experienced a bizarre and inexplicable event? Well, you’re not alone.”

Certainly not. There are dozens and dozens of people who experience really strange situations. And just to let you know how serious they are, sometimes there will be a parenthetical statement such as the one offered by Jim of Wyandotte, Okla.: “(Oh yeah, no booze and no dope.)”

Mr. Beatty has the reports separated into categories such as these: electrified people; unusual weather; vanishing/appearing objects; ball lightning; evil events; unusual weather; and the Hum.

I really enjoy reading through these reports. I like them right from the start, with openings such as these:

“I talk to dead people in my dreams.”

“As far back as I can remember, I controlled the weather.”

“I can see the atoms that make up light and sound.”

“I would like to start out by saying that though I did worship a demon, I don't do it anymore.”

“Does anyone remember a dream from their childhood in which a big tree seems to be full of inflated plastic owls?”

“I was in my garden with my wife when small objects fell from the sky. These objects, looked  like baked beans in size and color, but were hard like a nut. P.S. I am not a nutter.”

“I stumbled upon this site while looking up information on lightning bugs.”

“I so glad that I found this web site, I thought I was the only one.”

One of the most interesting topics is about the many people who make streetlights go out as they walk or drive underneath.

The host cautions that lights often turn themselves off and on when they overheat, and also that some systems have timers that turn lights off and on randomly every few minutes to save energy. “Beware,” he writes, “it’s easy to fool yourself into thinking that you have a mysterious effect on streetlights.”

The real test, he says, is if they go off in sequence as you pass, or if they turn off only while standing directly underneath. Apparently, there are a lot of people who have this ability.

When I call people like these wackos, I’m not showing any disdain for their condition. It’s all in good fun. I’d call myself a wacko if I made light bulbs burn out when I touched them or if I continually dreamed the future or if was always seeing energy force fields. They’re just wacky experiences that some people have.

I’ll call my wife a wacko because she can’t wear a watch with a battery without killing it off. I asked for details and she fetched a small watch.

“If I wear this, it will stop working before long,” she said.

Some of the people I read about have explanations for their electrical problems. One guy writes that he used to stick his finger into empty Christmas tree light sockets and he enjoyed holding onto electric fences. Diapers fit into these stories occasionally.

“When I was a child I stuck a fork in a light socket and I had wet diapers on at the time.”

“When I was a toddler, I stuck a metal object into the electrical socket and was thrown across the room. Had my diaper been wet, the doctor said I would have not survived the incident.”

I questioned my wife about wet diapers and electrical accidents. I was looking for some explanation for her battery problems, but she was only looking out for her self-esteem. She knew I was writing this column.

“You aren’t trying to make me sound like a wacko, are you?”

Hmmmm…funny she would choose the word “wacko.”

    – Aug. 21, 2002 
  • Front.tug
    MORENCI pep rallies generally end with a tug of war. The senior class entry, shown above, did not advance to the finals. Griffin Grieder, Alaina Webster, Kyle Long and Jazmin Smith are shown at the front of the rope, giving it their best effort.
  • Accident
    FAYETTE resident Patricia Stambaugh, 64, was declared dead on the scene of a single-vehicle accident Friday morning south of Morenci. Rescue units were called around 9 a.m., but as of Tuesday, law enforcement officers had not yet determined the time of the accident. According to Ohio State Highway Patrol, Stambaugh was driving west on U.S. 20 when her Chevrolet Malibu traveled off the north side of the road and down a steep embankment, coming to rest in Bean Creek (Tiffin River).
  • Athletic Fields
    SPORTS COMPLEX—Fayette’s outdoor athletic facilities will include three ball fields for summer recreation leagues at the southwest corner of the school. The baseball and softball fields, along with the running track, will be constructed on the east side of the school. Outdoor athletic fields were not part of the new school project from 2007, but voters approved a $1.4 million levy for a school addition and the sports fields last August. Both projects are scheduled to be complete by July 20.
  • Front.teacher Leading
    PRESCHOOL MUSIC—Fayette band director Jeffrey Dunford spends the last half hour of the day leading the full-day preschool class in musical activities. Additional photos are on page 7 of this week’s Observer.
  • Front.F.band
    TROMBONISTS Jake Myers (left) and Max Baker perform Friday at the annual Senior Citizens Luncheon at Fayette High School. The National Honor Society and the FFA chapter teamed up to serve a meal to area seniors and to provide musical entertainment. Both the school band and choir performed. Additional photos are on page 7 of this week’s Observer.
  • Station.2
    STRANGE STUFF—Morenci Elementary School students learn that blue isn’t really blue when seen through the right color of lens. Volunteer April Pike presents the lesson to students at one of the many stations brought to the school by the COSI science center. The theme of this year’s visit was the solar system.
  • Front.poles
    MOVING EAST—Utility workers continue their slow progress east along U.S. 20 south of Morenci. New electrical poles are put in place before wiring is moved into place.

Weekly newspaper serving SE Michigan and NW Ohio - State Line Observer ©2006-2017