The Weekly Newspaper serving the citizens of Morenci, Mich., Fayette, Ohio, and surrounding areas.

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    FIRST SNOW—Heavy, wet flakes piled deep on tree branches—and windshields—as the area received its first significant snowfall of the season. “Usually it begins with a dusting or two,” said George Isobar, Morenci’s observer for the National Weather Service, “but this time it came with a vengeance.” By the end of the day Saturday, a little over four inches of snow was on the ground. Now comes the thaw with temperatures in the 40s and 50s for three days.
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    SKEWERS, gumdrops, and marshmallows are all that’s needed to create interesting shapes and designs for Layla McDowell Saturday at Stair District Library’s “Sculptamania!” Open House. The program featuring design games and materials is one part of a larger project funded by a $7,500 Curiosity Creates grant from Disney and the American Library Association. Additional photos are on page 7.
    Morenci marching band members took to the field Friday night dressed for Halloween during the Bulldog’s first playoff game. Morenci fans had a bit of a scare until the fourth quarter when the Bulldogs scored 30 points to leave Lenawee Christian School behind. Whiteford visits Morenci this Friday for the district championship game. From the left is Clayton Borton, Morgan Merillat and James O’Brien.
    DNA PUZZLE—Mitchell Storrs and Wyatt Mohr tackle a puzzle representing the structure of DNA. There’s only one correct way for all the pieces to fit. It’s one of the new materials that can be used in both biology and chemistry classes, said teacher Loretta Cox.
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    A TRAFFIC control worker stands in the middle of Morenci’s Main Street Tuesday morning, waiting for the next flow of vehicles to be let through from the west. The dusty gravel surface was sealed with a layer of tar, leaving only the application of paint for new striping. The project was completed in conjunction with county road commission work west of Morenci.
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    JUNIORS Jazmin Smith and Trevor Corkle struggle against a team from the sophomore class Friday during the annual tug of war at the Homecoming Games pep rally. Even the seniors struggled against the sophomores who won the competition. At the main course of the day, the Bulldog football team struggled against Whiteford in a homecoming loss.
    YOUNG soccer players surived a chilly morning Saturday in Morenci’s PTO league. From the left is Emma Cordts, Wayne Corser, Carter and Levi Seitz, Briella York and Drew Joughin. Two more weeks of soccer remain for this season.
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    BOWEN BAUMGARTNER of Morenci makes his way across a rope bridge constructed by the Tecumseh Boy Scout troop Sunday at Lake Hudson Recreation Area. The bridge was one of many challenges, displays and games set up for the annual Youth Jamboree by the Michigan DNR. Additional photos on are the back page of this week’s Observer.
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    One of four senior candidates will be crowned the fall homecoming queen during half-time of this week’s Morenci-Whiteford football game. In the back row (left to right) is exchange student Kinga Vidor (her escort will be Caylob Alcock), seniors Alli VanBrandt (escorted by Sam Cool), Larissa Elliott (escorted by Clayton Borton), Samantha Wright (escorted by JJ Elarton) and Justis McCowan (escorted by Austin Gilson), and exchange student Rebecca Rosenberger (escorted by Garrett Smith). Front row freshman court member Allie Kaiser (escorted by Anthony Thomas), sophomore Marlee Blaker (escorted by Nate Elarton) and junior Cheyenne Stone (escorted by Dominick Sell).
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    GETTING READY—Jerad Gleckler pounds nails to secure a string of holiday lights on the side of the Wakefield Park concession stand while other members of the Volunteer Club and others hold them in place. The volunteers showed up Sunday afternoon to string lights at the park. The decorating project will continue this Sunday. Denise Walsh is in charge of the effort this year.
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2012.04.04 It's a science joke, get it?

Written by David Green.


A couple bacteria walk into a bar and order a drink. 

“We don’t serve bacteria here,” the bartender says.

“But we work here,” says one of the bacteria. “We’re staff.”

That’s the problem with a lot of science jokes. They need an explanation for the non-science-minded person. “We’re staph” as in a staph infection.

A neutrino walks into a bar and the bartender says, “We don’t serve neutrinos here.”

The neutrino says, “Hey, I was just passing through.”

I was just driving over to the elementary school Friday afternoon and “Science Friday” was on the radio. It was their second annual April First joke show in which they attempt to demonstrate that science can be funny. They even had a science comedian, Brian Malow, on the show.

Malow spouted off a series of bad jokes supposedly told by Albert Einstein, such as, “I had a dream that I made love to Rita Hayworth for an hour. Well, for her it was an hour. For me, 35 seconds. That’s relativity.”

Schrödinger and Heisenberg are out for a drive and they run over a cat. Schrödinger asks, “Is it dead?” and Heisenberg says, “Get this, I can’t be certain.”

Malow does have a problem. He needs a special audience to appreciate his material. Sometimes, he will tell a joke and the audience is silent except for one person who is laughing his head off. Actually, Malow said, he kind of likes it that way sometimes.

Did you hear the one about the phlebotomist who wrote a romance novel? It’s about two corpuscles who loved in vain.

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the participate.

Pure geek: If I were an enzyme, I’d be DNA helicase so I could unzip your jeans [get it, your genes].

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? None; the light bulb has to want to change.

What was the greatest biological experiment of all time? It’s when Luther Burbank crossed the Rocky Mountains with his wife. [As in cross breeding].

Steve Mirsky was also on the show. He writes a humorous column for Scientific American and once wrote a column about the funniest joke in the world. A study determined that it was the one about Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson camping.

Holmes asked Watson to look up at the stars and tell him what he can deduce. Watson begins talking about the infinite universe and our tiny lives on this small planet, etc. 

“No, you idiot,” Holmes says. “It means someone stole our tent.”

One atom says to the other atom, “Hey, I just lost an electron!”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive!”

How do you tell a chemist from everybody else? He’s the guy who has to wash his hands before he goes to the bathroom.

So much of TV science is so watered down, it’s almost homeopathic.

A student pushes a full grocery cart to the express checkout lane in Cambridge, Mass., and the clerk just stands there. “What’s the matter?” asks the student.

The clerk points to the sign about the 12-item limit and says, “I’m trying to decide if you’re Harvard and can’t count or M.I.T. and can’t read.”

By the way, only in Cambridge does the sign read, “Twelve items or fewer.”

How do tell the difference between a wet brunette and a wet blonde? One smells like H2O, the other smells like H2O2.

I went to a magnet school for bipolar students.

Why isn’t base 12 funny? Because 9, 10, 11. Hmmm, no one on the show even understood that one.

It was decided on the show that scientists get a bad rap. Of course they can be funny, but with a different sense of humor, perhaps.

Here’s my favorite science joke. I heard it probably 30 years ago and I still think it’s an excellent one.

It was the final exam in an ornithology class [study of birds] and the professor surprised his students by asking them to identify the footprints of 50 birds.

One poor student wasn’t prepared for that at all and finally wadded up the test, walked to the front of the class and tossed it on the professor’s desk.

As he walked away, the professor said, “Hey, what’s your name?”

The student lifted up one of his feet, pointed at it and said, “You tell me.”

Well, it’s great to be here, and as they say in the world of jokes, it’s great to be anywhere.

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