The Weekly Newspaper serving the citizens of Morenci, Mich., Fayette, Ohio, and surrounding areas.

  • KayseInField
    IN THE FIELD—2004 Morenci graduate Kayse Onweller works in a test plot of wheat in Texas. She’s part of Bayer CropScience’s North American wheat breeding program based in Nebraska, where she completed post-graduate work in plant breeding and genetics.
  • Front.winner
    REFEREE Camden Miller raises the hand of Morenci Jr. Dawgs wrestler Ryder Ryan as his opponent leaves the mat in disappointment. Morenci’s youth wrestling program served as host for a tournament Saturday morning to raise money for the club. Additional photos are on the back page.
  • Front.bank.2
    SHERWOOD STATE Bank opened its Fayette office at a grand opening Friday morning, drawing a large crowd to view the renovated building. Above, Burt Blue talks to teller Cindy Funk, while his wife, Jackie, looks around the new office. The Blues missed the opening and took a quick tour on Tuesday. Few traces remain of the former grocery store and theater, however, part of the original brick wall still shows in the hallway leading to the back of the building. The drive-through window should be ready for customers later in the month.
  • Front.carry.casket
    CARRYING—Riley Terry (blue jacket) and Mason Vaughn lead the way, carrying an empty casket outside to the hearse waiting at the curb. Morenci juniors and seniors visited Eagle Funeral Home last week to learn about the role of a funeral director and to understand the process of arranging for a funeral.
  • Front.lift
    MORENCI student Dalton McCowan puts everything into a dead lift attempt Saturday morning during the Wyseguy Push/Pull event. Lifters helped raise more than $1,600 for the family of the late Devin Wyse, a former Morenci power-lifter who graduated last year. Commemorative T-shirts are still available by contacting teacher Dan Hoffman.
  • Front.make.three
    FROM THE LEFT, Landon Wilkins, Ryan White and Logan Blaker try out their artistic skills Saturday afternoon at the Morenci PTO’s first Date to Create event. More than 50 people showed up to create decorated planks of wood to hang from rope. The event served as a fund-raiser for miscellaneous PTO projects. Additional photos are on the back of this week’s Observer.
  • Front.F.office
    NEW OFFICES—Fayette village administrator Steve Blue speaks with tax administrator Genna Biddix at the new front desk of the village office. Village council members voted to use budgeted renovation funds targeted for the old office and instead buy the vacant bank building on the corner of Main and Fayette streets. The old office was sold to Sherwood State Bank. When everything is put into place in the spacious new village office, an open house will be scheduled. Council member David Wheeler donated all of his time needed to make changes in the bank interior to fit the Village’s needs.

2012.03.21 Young, modern and very embarrassed

Written by David Green.

A little entertainment from March 1992

By David Green

I’m still seven years away from having a teenage mutant daughter, but it’s never too early to begin preparing for this strange adventure. I have a couple copies of y&m magazine (Young & Modern) that should get me on track.

I vaguely remember reading my sister’s Seventeen magazine back in the 1960s. Today there are still pages and pages of ads for makeup, still lots of suggestions for attracting boys, and even some advice about staying out of a hotel room on your prom night.

Pimples are still a big problem, and all the greasy fast food has actually complicated the matter despite so many advances in modern medicine. “From A to Zit: how to get awesome skin” addressed the problems of super-sore hair zits, rashy razor zits, gross back, neck and chest zits, and even information about buttocular zits. For that last problem, the author says not to sit around in a wet bathing suit.

As a reader of the magazine, I’m invited to vote for the Young & Modern Man of the Year. About 10,000 entry photos were mailed in (including five nudes) and 20 candidates were selected as finalists.

There’s a guy from Florida who wants to become either an actor, a model or a pet store owner. There’s a professional surfer from California who was nominated by his sister, and why not? If he wins, they split the $10,000 prize money.

I’m favoring the guy who wants to become a professional roller skater (he’s from New York City, he’s a Capricorn and he’s crazy about snowboarding.) But then there’s that guy with the two earrings. So hard to decide.

It’s time to get a magnifying glass and study the photos carefully for unawesome skin. Nostril zits, for example, don’t belong on my kind of young and modern guy.

Advice: Should you play hard to get? Maybe. It’s really not a bad idea—as long as you don’t get caught up in some sicko manipulative head trip.

Kissing: “There’s nothing worse than kissing a jellyfish.” Something I’ve never tried. The kissing article addresses the major elements such as lips, teeth, tongue and saliva.

What’s slutty? Fishnet stockings with heels and fake nails.

What’s sexy? Black pantyhose and red nail polish.

What’s embarrassing? Getting your finger stuck in your guy’s earring.

Your first date with a guy is coming to an end and you know you don’t want to go out with this guy again. What do you do?

a. Say thanks and shake his hand.

b. Jump out before he has a chance to put the car in park.

c. Give him a kiss on the cheek and murmur, “I had a great time,” because it’s not nice to have boys lusting after you.

Did you choose response c? Then you’re in the flirting danger zone. It’s like jumping on a guy’s lap when he invites you to share his chair. It’s like grabbing the sexy Italian exchange student and whispering your name in his ear.

My favorite part of the magazine has to be the “Say Anything” feature in which young moderns tell about their worst embarrassments such as the burritos, the loud release of intestinal gas and the overflowing toilet—all during dinner at the boyfriend’s house with his parents present.

Or the ball of phlegm which flew from the girlfriend’s mouth to the boyfriend’s father’s wine glass during dinner. That last story received only a three-star rating on the embarrassment scale while the first one hit the top with four stars.

The Nightmare of the Month happened at an expensive Italian restaurant. Boyfriend made a joke while girlfriend was eating. Girlfriend laughed so hard a spaghetti noodle came out her nose. Girlfriend pulled the noodle out and went into the bathroom where she suffered near fatal embarrassment.

That’s no Nightmare of the Month. That should be classified as a very special evening to be cherished forever.

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