2010.04.14 So what's afflicting you?

Written by David Green.

By DAVID GREEN

Perhaps I need a little more Kleine Levin syndrome in my life. Or maybe I have the Kleine without the Levin. Or is it the other way around: too much Levin, not enough Kleine?

Kleine Levin syndrome: Recurrent episodes of sleeping 11 and more hours a day accompanied by feelings of unreality or confusion.

When awake, the afflicted person’s demeanor is changed and the person often appears “spacey” or childlike, experiencing confusion, disorientation, complete lack of energy and lack of emotions.

I’m not experiencing any 18-hour sleeping sessions—although it sounds mighty good—but I have the unreality and lack of energy.

And yes, I’m making light of a serious psychological condition when in actuality I’m just trying to shake some respiratory thing that’s hung around for more than a week. My demeanor has changed. It seems as though I’ve lost an entire week.

Kleine Levin syndrome really does exist and it might be included in the revised Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) of the American Psychiatric Association. The manual lists every psychological disorder recognized by the U.S. health care system, along with the criteria used to diagnose the affliction.

Kleine Levin came to my attention when a friend sent a challenge my way: The DSM-5 Disorder Quiz by Sanjay Srivastava.

DSM-5 is expected to be released in 2013 and will serve as the new, updated manual. It must be fascinating reading. It might help you feel good about yourself to read of the problems that others are having.

Here are the quiz items. Some are proposed for the new DSM; some were suggested but not being considered; some are fakes:

1. Factitious dietary disorder – producing, feigning, or exaggerating dietary restrictions to gain attention or manipulate others;

2. Skin picking disorder – recurrent skin picking resulting in skin lesions;

3. Olfactory reference syndrome – preoccupation with the belief that one emits a foul or offensive body odor, which is not perceived by others;

4. Solastalgia – psychological or existential stress caused by environmental changes like global warming;

5. Hypereudaimonia – recurrent happiness and success that interferes with interpersonal functioning;

6. Premenstrual dysphoric disorder – disabling irritability before and during menstruation;

7. Internet addiction disorder – compulsive overuse of computers that interferes with daily life;

8. Sudden wealth syndrome – anxiety or panic following the sudden acquisition of large amounts of wealth;

9. Quotation syndrome – following brain injury, speech becomes limited to the recitation of quotes from movies, books, TV, etc.;

10. Infracaninophilia – compulsively supporting individuals or teams perceived as likely to lose competitions;

11. Acquired situational narcissism – narcissism that results from being a celebrity.

First, the fakes: 1, 5, 9 and 10. Actual disorders suggested for the manual but not making it in: 4, 7, 8 and 11. The other three (2, 3 and 6)—plus Kleine Levin—might make it in.

But don’t we all have a little skin picking disorder in us? Aren’t most of us concerned about body odor? And internet addiction—it’s rampant across America.

The difference, of course, is that most of us don’t pick to the level of bodily harm. We don’t feel a reluctance to leave the home due to the scarring.

We don’t worry about odors so that it leads to excessive showering and the avoidance of other people. We don’t repeatedly accuse family members of emitting foul odors...or do we? Excessive use of scented candles? Excessive use of perfumes? I think I might run across some of these people now and then.

Like I said before, there’s some fascinating reading ahead for anyone interested in digging into the disorders that plague many of those among us.

As for me, I sit listlessly at this computer and look out the window at people riding by on bicycles. I want to be among them, but even more I want to return to the sofa, close my eyes and search for a scab to pick.

  • Front.tug
    MORENCI pep rallies generally end with a tug of war. The senior class entry, shown above, did not advance to the finals. Griffin Grieder, Alaina Webster, Kyle Long and Jazmin Smith are shown at the front of the rope, giving it their best effort.
  • Accident
    FAYETTE resident Patricia Stambaugh, 64, was declared dead on the scene of a single-vehicle accident Friday morning south of Morenci. Rescue units were called around 9 a.m., but as of Tuesday, law enforcement officers had not yet determined the time of the accident. According to Ohio State Highway Patrol, Stambaugh was driving west on U.S. 20 when her Chevrolet Malibu traveled off the north side of the road and down a steep embankment, coming to rest in Bean Creek (Tiffin River).
  • Athletic Fields
    SPORTS COMPLEX—Fayette’s outdoor athletic facilities will include three ball fields for summer recreation leagues at the southwest corner of the school. The baseball and softball fields, along with the running track, will be constructed on the east side of the school. Outdoor athletic fields were not part of the new school project from 2007, but voters approved a $1.4 million levy for a school addition and the sports fields last August. Both projects are scheduled to be complete by July 20.
  • Front.teacher Leading
    PRESCHOOL MUSIC—Fayette band director Jeffrey Dunford spends the last half hour of the day leading the full-day preschool class in musical activities. Additional photos are on page 7 of this week’s Observer.
  • Front.F.band
    TROMBONISTS Jake Myers (left) and Max Baker perform Friday at the annual Senior Citizens Luncheon at Fayette High School. The National Honor Society and the FFA chapter teamed up to serve a meal to area seniors and to provide musical entertainment. Both the school band and choir performed. Additional photos are on page 7 of this week’s Observer.
  • Station.2
    STRANGE STUFF—Morenci Elementary School students learn that blue isn’t really blue when seen through the right color of lens. Volunteer April Pike presents the lesson to students at one of the many stations brought to the school by the COSI science center. The theme of this year’s visit was the solar system.
  • Front.poles
    MOVING EAST—Utility workers continue their slow progress east along U.S. 20 south of Morenci. New electrical poles are put in place before wiring is moved into place.

Weekly newspaper serving SE Michigan and NW Ohio - State Line Observer ©2006-2017