2010.03.31 What's in a name?

Written by David Green.

By DAVID GREEN

It’s not nice to make fun of a person’s name. After all, it’s what they were given,  it’s a part of them, it’s very personal. I should add, however, that it’s a lot of fun to make fun of names.

Maybe I can write this without actually making fun of a name; just point out its wonderfulness.

When I need a laugh I get out my wife’s monstrous high school yearbook from New York City and read the names. Just amazing, and that was from the 1970s. They’re so tame compared to what’s out there today.

I learned this week there’s a battle underway leading to the Final Four and the eventual champion: the 2010 Name of the Year. It takes place on this website: http://nameoftheyear.blogspot.com/.

The latest posting on the NOTY website discusses the fate of LaceDarius Dunn, a member of the Baylor Bears basketball team. His name was nominated in 2008, but failed to make the cut. As a consolation, LaceDarius continues to do well in basketball.

NOTY collects nominations through the year and then sets up the bracket. Readers vote on which names should advance.

The four regional sites are named in honor of past winners: Doby Chrotchtangle, Crescent Dragonwagon, Godfrey Sithole and Assumption Bulltron (Name of the Decade for the 1990s).

With LaceDarius and the Baylor team in the spotlight these days, I wondered if the Bears have any other interesting names, and they do indeed.

There’s Dragan Sekelja, although his name is probably nothing out of the ordinary in his native Croatia. There’s also Tweety Carter, but Tweety isn’t his real name. That was a nickname given by his grandmother. His real name is Demond and the Baylor website says it’s pronounced DEE-mond.

There’s more. Baylor also has Given Crump, Quincy Acy and Udoh Ekpe. All fine nomenclature. Two team members are majoring in Health, Human Performance & Recreation, which probably translates as Basketball. Two others are studying Speech Communication which might mean Post-Game Interviews. Five have no major, but that’s understandable since the team is very young. The subject of college athletics is a topic for another day.

The writers of Name of the Year thought the pinnacle had been reached in the early 1990s when they received a sworn affidavit for the name Assumption Bulltron, but then another year brought names such as Nimrod Weiselfish, Tanqueray Beavers, Vanilla Dong and Destiny Frankenstein.

This year they winnowed nominations down to the “most worthy” and reported this:

“That 278 names turned out to be ‘most worthy’ is at once a spine-tingling testament to the onomastic smorgasbord of the human race and a daunting freaking challenge. The NCAA thinks it has reason to expand to 96? We could go 256 in a heartbeat.”

In the Bulltron Regional, Nohjay Nimpson was seeded number one, ahead of X’Zavier Bloodsaw, Hannukkah Wallace, Jesus Leonardo, Dirk Kool, Stalin Felipe and Hitler Makofane. Yes, they had Hitler and Stalin compete in the first round. How could they not?

Rich Tanguy went against Courvoisier Riley in that regional.

Over in the Sithole, God’s Power Offor took the top seed and was up against #16 Peachy Trader. No contest, right?

Other match-ups were much, much tougher. How about Dick Smallberries, Jr., and Chinook Bacon, or Coke Wisdom O’Neal vs. Typhoon Nurse? That bracket also includes Banana Yaya, Napoleon Einstein, Shamiracle Johnson and others.

At Dragonwagon, Spontaneous Gordon leads the way #1. She crashed her car into a school bus in Delaware. There’s some tough competition, such as Can Du, Selathious Bobo, Starzanne Stipes, Gregor Schwinghammer, Jr., King Jamell Modest and Pizza Ashby.

Finally, in the Chrotchtangle Regional, the seeding committee put Just-In’Love Smith as #1, Wave Ryder at #2 and Pencilman Jeffries in the #3 spot. All good choices, and some tough competition for Dr. Festus Dada, Flavius Killebrew, Mister Cobble, Bambang Parmanto and Furious Bradley.

Voting continues for several weeks, if you want to help choose the person to take over from last year’s impressive winner, Barvkevious Mingo.

  • Front.tug
    MORENCI pep rallies generally end with a tug of war. The senior class entry, shown above, did not advance to the finals. Griffin Grieder, Alaina Webster, Kyle Long and Jazmin Smith are shown at the front of the rope, giving it their best effort.
  • Accident
    FAYETTE resident Patricia Stambaugh, 64, was declared dead on the scene of a single-vehicle accident Friday morning south of Morenci. Rescue units were called around 9 a.m., but as of Tuesday, law enforcement officers had not yet determined the time of the accident. According to Ohio State Highway Patrol, Stambaugh was driving west on U.S. 20 when her Chevrolet Malibu traveled off the north side of the road and down a steep embankment, coming to rest in Bean Creek (Tiffin River).
  • Athletic Fields
    SPORTS COMPLEX—Fayette’s outdoor athletic facilities will include three ball fields for summer recreation leagues at the southwest corner of the school. The baseball and softball fields, along with the running track, will be constructed on the east side of the school. Outdoor athletic fields were not part of the new school project from 2007, but voters approved a $1.4 million levy for a school addition and the sports fields last August. Both projects are scheduled to be complete by July 20.
  • Front.teacher Leading
    PRESCHOOL MUSIC—Fayette band director Jeffrey Dunford spends the last half hour of the day leading the full-day preschool class in musical activities. Additional photos are on page 7 of this week’s Observer.
  • Front.F.band
    TROMBONISTS Jake Myers (left) and Max Baker perform Friday at the annual Senior Citizens Luncheon at Fayette High School. The National Honor Society and the FFA chapter teamed up to serve a meal to area seniors and to provide musical entertainment. Both the school band and choir performed. Additional photos are on page 7 of this week’s Observer.
  • Station.2
    STRANGE STUFF—Morenci Elementary School students learn that blue isn’t really blue when seen through the right color of lens. Volunteer April Pike presents the lesson to students at one of the many stations brought to the school by the COSI science center. The theme of this year’s visit was the solar system.
  • Front.poles
    MOVING EAST—Utility workers continue their slow progress east along U.S. 20 south of Morenci. New electrical poles are put in place before wiring is moved into place.

Weekly newspaper serving SE Michigan and NW Ohio - State Line Observer ©2006-2017