2009.07.22 Taylor does the garage sales

Written by David Green.

When my son-in-law Taylor visits, I get a column. What a deal. Here’s his garage sale report.


By TAYLOR BALLINGER

Growing up, my neighborhood had an annual garage sale. It was only a one-day event, so people usually got out around sun-up to search through endless piles of other folks’ former treasures. My dad never cared much for the process. “I don’t know why they call it a garage sale. I ain’t selling my garage,” he’d always joke. Dad was the designated “heavy lifter,” which probably explains his general disdain for garage sales.

My mother, though, was and still is a garage sale fanatic. Two years ago, Rosie and I were home for the big day, and my mother put a price tag on her house and car. She takes the “everything must go” mentality early in the day, and usually by noon she’s all but giving away box-loads of our old stuff to lucky patrons. It’s a safe bet that the things she gives away end up at some other garage sale later in the summer.

This year, our summer trip to Morenci coincided with the city-wide garage sale, and walking around town brought back a flood of memories. A garage sale in Kentucky is pretty similar to a garage sale in Michigan. There are generally five categories of items: clothes, toys, old appliances and technology, books and movies, and miscellaneous items such as the ones David has pictures of this week.  There is also a sixth category of items that is a garage-sale constant: nearly-new exercise equipment. During my childhood we sold at least two lightly-used treadmills and a weight-bench.

On Saturday in Morenci I didn’t see any treadmills, but I saw my fair share of exercise bikes, punching bags and other equipment that was likely purchased during a Chuck Norris induced frenzy. I can’t figure out how the exercise equipment industry still exists. They could stop making stationary bikes and weight benches for at least a decade and every family in the country would still wind up with one to try to get rid of at the next garage sale. Maybe if garage sales were held right after New Year’s Day people could take care of their resolution for a fraction of the cost and we could put the NordicTrack people out of business for good.   

When I was a child, as my parents were pawning off our old computer or glassware (my mother collected glass chickens), my cousin Matthew and I would walk around looking for bargains on movies and sports paraphernalia. When we were in seventh grade we found the house of a man who must have once owned a video store, and were able to walk away with a bargain on the award-winning Pauly Shore movie, “In The Army Now.” We watched “In The Army Now” so many times that summer that Matthew actually said “Pauly Shore is probably one of the best actors out there today” with a straight face.

That day I also purchased the Naked Gun trilogy and an old wooden baseball bat. The famed Leslie Neilsen movies ended up being a great purchase. I still have the first and third one nearly memorized. I don’t remember ever using the bat to hit a ball (or anything else, for that matter), though it does remind me of the year my mother took my softball and baseball bats from their place in the garage and sold them to a fortunate young boy for only five dollars. I must have been loading an old couch into someone’s truck, because I never gave my consent to sell those bats. Even if I would have, the price would have been higher than five dollars! I’d never even used them!

As I’ve gotten older, my priorities have changed a bit. Instead of looking for bargains on wares that I just couldn’t live without, I was more than happy to walk around and enjoy the general optimism and togetherness that comes with a city-wide event like this. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to hunt for old records and books, though. I walked around for a couple of hours and ended up with three records (I was pleasantly surprised at the selection of old vinyl) and “The Godfather.” Altogether I spent five dollars, the same five dollars I earned when my mother unwittingly sold my aluminum bats. That’s what I like to call Garage Sale Karma.

  • Front.geese
    ON THE MOVE—Six goslings head out on manuevers with their parents in an area lake. Baby waterfowl are showing up in lakes and ponds throughout the area.
  • Front.little Ball
    Fayette's Demetrious Whiteside (left)Skylar Lester attempt to keep the ball from going out of bounds during Morenci's recent basketball tournament for fourth and fifth grade teams. Morenci's Andrew Schmidt stands by.
  • Front.tug
    MORENCI pep rallies generally end with a tug of war. The senior class entry, shown above, did not advance to the finals. Griffin Grieder, Alaina Webster, Kyle Long and Jazmin Smith are shown at the front of the rope, giving it their best effort.
  • Accident
    FAYETTE resident Patricia Stambaugh, 64, was declared dead on the scene of a single-vehicle accident Friday morning south of Morenci. Rescue units were called around 9 a.m., but as of Tuesday, law enforcement officers had not yet determined the time of the accident. According to Ohio State Highway Patrol, Stambaugh was driving west on U.S. 20 when her Chevrolet Malibu traveled off the north side of the road and down a steep embankment, coming to rest in Bean Creek (Tiffin River).
  • Athletic Fields
    SPORTS COMPLEX—Fayette’s outdoor athletic facilities will include three ball fields for summer recreation leagues at the southwest corner of the school. The baseball and softball fields, along with the running track, will be constructed on the east side of the school. Outdoor athletic fields were not part of the new school project from 2007, but voters approved a $1.4 million levy for a school addition and the sports fields last August. Both projects are scheduled to be complete by July 20.
  • Front.teacher Leading
    PRESCHOOL MUSIC—Fayette band director Jeffrey Dunford spends the last half hour of the day leading the full-day preschool class in musical activities. Additional photos are on page 7 of this week’s Observer.
  • Front.F.band
    TROMBONISTS Jake Myers (left) and Max Baker perform Friday at the annual Senior Citizens Luncheon at Fayette High School. The National Honor Society and the FFA chapter teamed up to serve a meal to area seniors and to provide musical entertainment. Both the school band and choir performed. Additional photos are on page 7 of this week’s Observer.
  • Front.poles
    MOVING EAST—Utility workers continue their slow progress east along U.S. 20 south of Morenci. New electrical poles are put in place before wiring is moved into place.

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