2006.03.01 Hey, Detroit, need a sister?

Written by David Green.

By DAVID GREEN

When Morenci school superintendent Kyle Griffith was a classroom teacher, he would have students work on a “sister city” project. The assignment was to locate a city anywhere in the world with a population similar to Morenci’s and then dig in to learn about the place.

Mhlambanyatsi, Swaziland, Höfn, Iceland—most anyplace could become Morenci’s sister city for the sake of a social studies project.

With that background in his head, I suppose it shouldn’t come as a surprise when Kyle recently suggested that Morenci could become a sister city to Detroit. It might look really nice on the city limits signs: “Morenci, Sister City to Detroit.” Or maybe just Little Detroit.

OK, now you know what got Kyle thinking. First came the recently boarded up building downtown, then came “Little Detroit” spray painted across the plywood. It’s not a very attractive situation and Kyle was trying to find some humor in the predicament. Make some lemonade out of the lemons, as the old saying goes.

Then things seemed to take a turn for the strange. Just look at the recent police report. It wasn’t just the rush of domestic assault charges and suspicious situations on Main Street. There were items never before entered into the logbook, such as a wild cat found in a house and a disorderly parent at a wrestling match.

Then came the report to top all others. I was just finishing breakfast when I heard the call over the police scanner: Unresponsive subject found in a Dumpster at Morenci Deli.

“We really are becoming Little Detroit,” my wife remarked.

Before I had my coat on, officer Don Thompson was on the radio reporting that the unresponsive guy was only sleeping, but even that is a too big city for us. No one in Morenci spends a winter night in a trash receptacle to keep warm. That only happens in Little Detroit.

Then it struck my personal life. First came the Stranger in the Kitchen dream. I stepped from the bathroom to the kitchen in a pitch black night and my hand encountered a person. Back in real life, my wife reported feeling my pelt stand on end.

Next was the Dark Force in the Bedroom. I never did figure that experience out. It was some dark thing moving across the bedroom toward the bed. Maybe it wasn’t a dream at all.

Finally, I was chased in a dream by a menacing man who was angry that I wouldn’t let him through the fence into Dunbar’s Used Cars so he could reclaim his vehicle. I ended up at the police station where a two old friends were having their groceries checked by—he’s back again—Officer Thompson.

“He can’t do that!” I said. “He’s a policeman!”

We’re drifting too far into the lemons here. Back to the creation of a sweet drink.

Kyle knows I’m always looking for a new festival theme. “Town and Country” just doesn’t do it, not the way Adam Johnson’s “Quillback Carpsucker” theme could work or my wife’s “Sleepy Little Town” festival.

But Kyle has really struck it rich with our new sister city and “Little Detroit Days.” After consulting with some natives from the big city, I’ve learned that any celebration must include Vernor’s floats and coney dogs. The Pub could become our little Greektown and R.D. could light the cheese on fire and yell “Opa!”

Kwame Kilpatrick will make a fine grand marshal for our parade, riding beside our own mayor, Kwame Sutherland. We can fashion some sort of People Mover (or maybe a Folks Pusher) to shuttle guests from downtown past our proposed Creekfront development to the park. Don’t forget the hydroplane races on the Bean (or the sewage lagoons).

My friends say we need some sculpture, something to match the Joe Louis fist. For Little Detroit, I suppose, just a finger will do. They say we need a skyline and I tell them we have it if you just lie flat on the sidewalk and look up. Casinos, Bingo halls—is there really much difference?

They say we need something fun like a contest for shooting out street lights and I tell them maybe this is going too far. We’ll change the school mascot to the Pistons or the Fuel Pumps, but we have our limits.

I should point out that Detroit already has a sister city, but with our wholesome image, we’ll be able to push the city of Dubai out of the way.

– March 1, 2006 
  • Front.bridge Cross
    STEP BY STEP—Wyatt Stevens of Morenci makes his way across a rope bridge Sunday during the Michigan DNR’s Great Outdoors Jamboree at Lake Hudson Recreation Area. The Tecumseh Boy Scout Troop constructed the bridge again this year after taking a break in 2016. The Jamboree offered a variety of activities for a wide range of age groups. Morenci’s Stair District Library set up activities again this year and had visits with dozens of kids. See the back page for additional photos.
  • Front.bridge.17
    LEADING THE WAY—The Morenci Area High School marching band led the way across the pedestrian bridge on Morenci’s south side for the annual Labor Day Bridge Walk. The Band Boosters shared profits from the sale of T-shirts with the walk’s sponsor, the Morenci Area Chamber of Commerce. Additional photos are on the back page.
  • Front.eclipse
    LOOKING UP—More than 200 people showed up at Stair District Library Monday afternoon to view the big celestial event with free glasses provided by a grant from the Space Science Institute. The library offered craft activities from noon to 1 p.m., refreshments including Cosmic Cake from Zingerman’s Bakehouse and a live viewing of the eclipse from NASA on a large screen. As the sky darkened slightly, more and more people moved outside to the sidewalk to take a look at the shrinking sun. If you missed it, hang on for the next total eclipse in 2024 as the path comes even closer to this area.
  • Cecil
    THE MAYOR—Cecil Schoonover poses with a collection of garden gnomes that mysteriously arrive and disappear from his property. Along with the gnomes, someone created the sign stating that he is the Mayor of Gnomesville. He hasn’t yet tracked down the people involved in the prank, but he’s having a good time with the mystery.
  • Front.rest
    TAKE A BREAK—Last Wednesday’s session of Stair District Library’s Summer Reading Program ended with a quiet period in a class presented by yoga instructor Melany Gladieux of Toledo. Children learned a variety of yoga poses in the main room at the library, then finished off the session relaxing. Additional photos are on page 7. Area children are invited to visit the library today when the Michigan Science Center presents a flight program at 11 a.m. and roller coasters at 1 p.m.
  • Front.batter
    THE DERBY—Tyler “Smallpox” Flakne of Minnesota’s Home Run League All-Stars goes for the fence Friday night during the National Wiffle League Association’s home run derby in Morenci. This year the wiffleball national tournament moved from Dublin, Ohio, to Morenci’s Wakefield Park. During the derby, competitors had two minutes to hit as many home runs as possible. The winner this year finished with 21. See page 6 and 7 for additional photos.
  • Front.green Screen
    OUT OF THIS WORLD—Elizabeth McFadden and Elise Christle pose in front of the green screen as VolunTeen Noah Gilson makes them appear as though they are standing on the Moon. More photos from the Stair District Library’s NASA @ My Library program are on page 12.
  • Front.fireworks
    FIREWORKS erupt Saturday night over Morenci’s Wakefield Park during the waning hours of the Town and Country Festival. Additional festival photos are inside.
  • Front.batter

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