2007.12.27 Looking south to a new year

Written by David Green.

By DAVID GREEN

It’s almost over and perhaps you feel a sense of relief. 2007 might have been a little more than you could handle and you need a break.

Despite all the stuff that happened this year, at least you can feel good about all the things that didn’t happen.

I realize I could be putting my foot in mouth here. It’s only Dec. 27 and there are still a few days remaining. Anything could happen—any incredibly weird thing. Out on the limb I go. Here’s what did not happen in 2007, despite the predictions.

1. We weren’t destroyed by the pesky Planet X

Barry Warmkessel predicted the Earth would be struck by comets related to our Sun’s dark twin, Vulcan. Crop circles, Wormwood, dark visions—it’s pretty heavy reading, but so far we’re still spinning.

2. The Battle of Armageddon didn’t begin

Armageddon Online predicted the battle would begin in 2007. If that isn’t enough, an island collapse in the Atlantic would wipe out the East Coast due to a tsunami wave thousands of feet tall.

And if that isn’t enough, a super volcano in Yellowstone Park would destroy America. Or there’s always the aliens.

Lots to read and dwell upon there, too.

3. Goodbye denim

Enough of the doom and gloom. What about fashion? Hadley Freeman, fashion writer on the Guardian newspaper, predicted that customer fatigue, overexposure and the lack of any new style possible means that denim will no longer generate excitement. Of course everyone will still wear blue jeans, it’s just that leggings and tunic dresses with tights will rule.

So how did she do with that prediction? One daughter, dressed in jeans, says there’s some truth to that one.

4. Google will buy Google

Wired magazine’s Lore Sjöberg predicted that the next logical acquisition in Google’s quest to rule the world will be the acquisition of itself.

I like this guy’s self-introduction: “Born helpless, nude and unable to provide for himself, Lore Sjöberg eventually overcame these handicaps to become a visionary, a secretary and a cassowary.”

In case you’re not remembering, a cassowary is a large flightless bird with a  horny crested head.

5. John Howard prevails

Some prognosticators enjoy digging into the crystal ball of politics. Someone at Kuro5hin predicted that John Howard would remain prime minister of Australia. Actually, he was defeated decisively by Kevin Rudd. However, there’s a YouTube video that shows Kevin Rudd picking his ear and bringing his finger to his mouth.

What will Kevin Rudd eat in 2008?

6. Computers take over

Here’s an interesting one, because the prediction was made in 1997 for the year 2007. The late Timothy Leary predicted every schoolchild will have his/her own computer, and that it will be as disposable as a pair of sneakers. Not a bad guess, but not quite, Tim.

An OMNI opinion poll weighed in on that issue and 41 percent of those responding were dreaming a little too far into the future: “Computers will supplement human teachers in nearly every classroom, and software will replace textbooks as the primary source of teaching material.” Half right, perhaps.

7. War with Iran

John Hogue is apparently a fairly well-know prognosticator—his says prophet—who predicted war with Iran by March 2007 unless Congress could stop the President’s actions. Save that one for 2008.

8. Injury to Simon Cowell

Former MTV VJ Adam Curry predicted Simon Cowell would suffer physical injury after an American Idol sore loser accosts him at a public appearance. I don’t know, did this one ever happen?

9. Home from Iraq

Psychic Sylvia Browne spoke of U.S. troops coming home from Iraq and President Bush’s approval rating moving upward.

Ouch! A double loss on that one.

Rather than look through the misses a year from now, I’m turning to FengShuiWeb to see how to live right in the next year.

“When at work, you may sit facing the south direction, but do not sit with your back to the south or you may find unscrupulous people working against you or you may encounter undue gossip and back-stabbing during the year.”

I’m facing south, and I’m looking forward to a good year free of gossip—about me, that is.

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